Mothers-in-law are often stereotyped as being critical, overbearing, and controlling, and even though that’s definitely not always the case, navigating a relationship with a MIL who lives up to the stereotypes can be a real challenge. One woman’s MIL made her feel embarrassed and excluded on her own wedding day.
Leading up to the woman’s special day, “there was a lot of drama.” However, the woman remained optimistic, thinking that the drama wouldn’t have a major impact on her wedding day. She was wrong.
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Her in-laws did not include her in any group photos during the rehearsal dinner.
Signs that the woman’s in-laws might put a damper on the celebration became more apparent during the rehearsal dinner. In a post on the r/weddingshaming Subreddit, the bride explained that her in-laws didn’t include her in group photos that they took at the rehearsal dinner. Although she was sitting right next to the location in which they were taking the photos, they didn’t ask her to join in.
Her MIL made several changes to her wedding celebration without consulting her.
On her actual wedding day, the bride’s MIL paid the DJ to play a different song for the mother-son dance. At the last minute, she also decided to give a speech. Though the bride and groom asked her “at least two times” if she wanted to prepare a speech for the special occasion, she said no. However, “she told our wedding planner she was going to give a speech and our wedding planner said that she needed approval from the bride and groom. I was never consulted by MIL,” the bride wrote in her post on Reddit.
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Worst of all, the bride's MIL asked her friends to wear white wedding-like dresses to the ceremony and reception.
In her post, the bride wrote that she feels “more embarrassed” about her wedding each time she thinks about it. She explained that her MIL asked “all of her friends” to wear wedding-like dresses to the wedding.
Her MIL’s best friend actually did wear a wedding dress for the occasion. It was more silver than white “but definitely a wedding dress.” The bride’s MIL wore “a very very pale blue dress that was basically white.”
“My friends all came up to me asking why there were two other people in wedding dresses,” the bride wrote in her post. “Overall, I felt ignored as the bride and hurt that everyone allowed this to happen, even when I expressed that my feelings were hurt.”
Some people blamed the woman's husband — or at least wondered what he was doing during all of this.
Upon hearing the bride’s story about her MIL, many Redditors wondered what the groom was doing as all this went on. “You have a husband problem not just an in law problem. Fix that or throw the whole family out including the groom,” one person wrote.
Another person added, “Why didn’t your husband say ANYTHING? Either about the pictures or the dresses?”
The bride later clarified that her husband did try to intervene at least some of the time. Her husband called all of his mom’s friends to tell them “that they were not allowed to wear wedding dresses.” He also told his mom “that she would be thrown out by him if she wore a wedding dress.” However, he did not say anything about the rehearsal dinner photos.
“With the pictures, he didn’t want to cause an all out war during our rehearsal dinner,” the bride wrote. “I was hurt at the time but understand his reasoning now.” She later edited her original post to assert that her husband is not the problem. Instead, he’s been “very supportive” and “has had countless conversations” with his mom.
To some Redditors, the MIL's behavior seemed like a warning of what is to come.
“It’s only going to get worse,” one person wrote.
Another commenter gave her some examples of how it could get worse: “She is going to show up at your house uninvited. Do not let her in. She is going to have family gatherings where something will be said or done to exclude you… Things will get even worse when kids come along.
“She has shown you who she is,” the Redditor warned. “Plan accordingly!!!”
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
