Relationships with mothers-in-law can be complicated and often uncomfortable. When a couple is expecting their first baby, emotions can run high, and even well-meaning grandparents-to-be can overstep. A pregnant mom recently vented about her MIL decorating their nursery with items unsafe for a baby, wondering, “AITA?”
In late October, the Reddit user detailed her frustrating predicament for a gut check. The OP’s (original poster’s) boundary-smashing MIL not only invited herself over while the pregnant mom worked from home, but she also rearranged and added items to their nursery. And then she had the audacity to call her a bad mother.
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The expecting mom explained she is pregnant with her first child.
The OP (26) and her husband (27) are expecting their first baby. At 32 weeks pregnant, she said “things have been going well” and that “everything with the nursery went pretty smoothly pretty fast.” Her MIL’s behavior, however, has been a different story entirely.
The MIL won't stop inviting herself over and adding items to their nursery.
Now that their nursery is nearly complete, the OP’s MIL has “suddenly decided to invite herself around more,” she noted.
“I work from home currently, she comes in on the regular, asks me when I’m going to have lunch and, ‘Oh could you just pop me something in too!’ and then will wander into the nursery and start rearranging things,” she explained.
The OP added, “I know this sounds stupid but once she literally bought an IKEA bag full of stuff that she put in there. It doesn’t match. But I’ve never said anything really beyond, ‘Oh, thanks so much for the thought,’ etc.”
The MIL also won't stop decorating their nursery with items unsafe for a baby.
“Yesterday when she came around uninvited, she looked me up and down and said, ‘Really? Joggers? Thank god Felix isn’t here.'” the pregnant mom shared. “And then walked into the nursery and started asking me where the pillow she’d put in the crib had gone, why I’d taken out the fairy lights hanging on the wall right by it, etc.”
The OP continued, “I explained that they were potential safety hazards to the future baby and that I’d taken them out.”
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Out of frustration, the OP told her to leave.
The MIL pointed out that she raised three children and that the OP “should take more of my advice.” After that, she reportedly told her pregnant daughter-in-law, “You’re really not going to be a good mother at this rate.”
“I don’t know if it was the pregnancy hormones but I just stared at her for a moment and then told her to get out of the house,” the OP admitted. “I’d been up all night and had loads of work and wasn’t in the mood. She got very uptight about it and then left.”
The OP said her husband plans to tell his mom that she shouldn’t be reorganizing without their permission. In the meantime, she wants to know if she’s being an a–hole.
Fellow Reddit users all agreed: The pregnant DIL is not the one at fault.
In the comments, Reddit users agreed that the MIL was the jerk in this situation.
One person assured her that she NTA (not the a–hole). “Your MIL is a huge one though. You deserve better treatment, and you advocating for yourself doesn’t make you an AH. Also, remember – if she’s treating you this way, she could treat your children this way too, especially little girls since the comments she made were rooted in misogyny. Take care.”
Another indignant Redditor commented, “WTF, change the locks to your house if she has a key, stop letting her come over whenever she wants, and make her leave the second she insults you. Zero tolerance for her s— is the only way. Your husband is married to you, not her. He needs to tell her to smarten up.
Meanwhile, someone else agreed, writing, “This busybody MIL needs to have her outrageous behavior nipped right now, by HER SON. Otherwise, she will continue to criticize you in front of your child and probably try to undermine your routines, food, discipline, etc. at every opportunity.”
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