Major life milestones such as weddings and babies are wonderful but can create a lot of tension. When planning a wedding or a baby shower, you have to ultimately do what is best for the couple getting married or the expecting parents. But what happens when those two things are in conflict with each other?
A bride-to-be found herself in a strange position: She and her future husband had planned their wedding and sent out invitations to their friend group. But shortly before the wedding, one of her groom-to-be's friends announced that his partner's baby shower was the same day as the wedding, forcing people to choose which event to attend.
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The bride turned to Reddit to share the story.
Posting in the Reddit /weddingshaming forum, the bride shared the story of the odd situation she found herself in, calling it "a wtf moment."
"We gave our invitations in hand to my fiance's friends on a weekend trip to a cabin. We thought it was a good opportunity to save on stamps. We didn't know a couple was expecting or were going to make their announcement then," she explained. "This was a shared organized event, all the couples pitched in, and everyone knew about our engagement and our wedding date months before when we settled on the venue."
She added that because the group didn't see each other often, they were celebrating multiple occasions, including Christmas and birthdays.
The couple getting married was very understanding of the pregnancy.
"The birth was planned a full 2 months after our wedding date, but I made sure to tell our pregnant friend that there was absolutely no pressure for her to come. She actually confessed it might be a high risk pregnancy for her so she probably won't come, but will insist her partner join the party since he is the friend of the groom and deserves a night of fun with the band, all good for me!" the bride continued.
She then noted that "The deadline for the RSVP starts creeping up, and I ask my fiance if he heard anything from this specific couple, he says he reached out but the guy still isn't sure if he can join, they have medical visits scheduled, all good, this is an exception we knew about."
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What happened next isn't something anyone could have anticipated.
There's no way that the couple getting married could have guessed what their "friends" were going to do next.
"The day we go to file the paperwork for our marriage licence, my fiance receives a message in the friend group chat: 'Hey guys, we would love to invite your ladies to xx Baby Shower !!!! On -wedding date-'. My jaw dropped at the audacity," the bride wrote.
She then explained that her fiancé "looks at me and starts angrily typing 'sorry mate but I'm kind of busy getting married that day.'"
"In my mind I was like that's one way to RSVP no, lol. But the guy still insisted after that he 'might' come, that guys might not be invited to the baby shower…. I knew there's no way he's coming and he did in fact confirm later he would not."
She then wrote that she understands "having babies is a huge milestone, and you should want to celebrate that, prioritise that. Of course, your pregnant partner trumps your friend's wedding, but don't invite them to an event the same day, maybe?"
Most people agreed that the expecting couple were tacky for the way they handled their baby shower invite.
"This couple sucks. They sound competitive. Does it clash with your wedding time? I can guarantee you that more people will want to go to a wedding than a baby shower, especially knowing this nonsense they pulled," one person wrote.
OP shared that the events "did overlap for sure," but that their mutual friends who had RSVP'd for the wedding attended that event and skipped the shower.
"I don’t believe for even a minute that they were too busy to note that the dates coincide. Even if you don’t keep the wedding date top of mind, and surely why would they, you know the month," another commenter noted. "A quick check would have verified the date. They chose to ignore all common sense and went ahead knowing they were forcing their friends to choose one over another."
"They didn’t forget about the wedding date, hubby was sending him texts regarding him attending the wedding so they definitely knew," someone else wrote. "Once the baby comes they will probably not attend a lot of the friend’s activities. Good to know your actual friends attended your wedding."
"D—, that's tacky as h—. They knew d— well what date it was, sounds like they're the 'steal their thunder' types," another person shared.
"That is a douche baggery move…I wouldn't make plans EVER again with them… but that's just me," someone else commented.
Some people tried to give the expecting mother the benefit of the doubt.
"Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t assume I’m the main character in anyone’s story but my own. I find it hard to believe that a couple planning for their first child thinks 'we should plan the baby shower on OP’s wedding day!' the person wrote. "I find it much more likely that they simply forgot when the wedding was. Sometimes things happen to you but they’re not always being done to you."
"These people likely have a lot of people and events in their lives and they really can’t plan around everyone. They probably didn’t even remember that was your wedding date if it wasn’t on their calendar," another person pointed out. "I’m sure they were planning around the most important people in their lives like their relatives who they wanted to be able to attend. This really isn’t a big deal. Your wedding is one of many people are invited to."
"Unless this is an exclusive shower where only this group of friends were invited they probably picked this date for a reason. Maybe grandma can only attend that day, venue was only available that day, who knows. People will most likely go to the wedding vs a baby shower or the ladies in the group may try to do both," someone else commented. "I doubt they overlap that much in time? Also she mentioned the baby's father and the groom are friends so my assumption is the wives aren't all that close so missing the wedding probably isn't a huge deal to her, just like missing the shower isn't a big deal to OP."
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