What is too far when it comes to sexual advances from your partner, especially in front of your kids? Do you balk at the idea of your partner touching your body if you know your kids are around? One woman on Reddit is trying to figure out how to draw a boundary with her husband when it comes to his public displays of affection.
Although their child is still only a toddler, the woman fears that her husband is setting a bad example. She clearly appreciates his overt physical affection but questions if it’s right for her child to see it, even if by accident.
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The husband happily expresses his attraction for his wife.
Posting into the Reddit Mommit forum, the woman shared that her husband has “always been very attracted” to her, making his attraction known.
He “takes every opportunity during the day to push me up against a wall, down on the bed, or bend me over. Then he will go in for a deep kiss or say something sexual to me,” she explained.
Unfortunately, he doesn't always think about who may be around when he shows his affection.
She explained that when her almost 2-year-old walks into a room “he removes himself and carries on.”
“He also frequently says things to our child like ‘Go play in your room so mommy and daddy can play in their room’ and winks at me,” she added.
She was concerned that her husband's behavior is somehow abnormal.
The woman goes on to ask if the behavior being displayed by her husband is “normal or acceptable.”
“I have memories of my Dad doing similar things to my mom, but it made me (as the child) feel so uncomfortable,” she wrote, finishing her post by asking if she should talk to her husband about his behavior.
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Many commenters were quick to mention how 'uncomfortable' the husband's behavior makes them.
“Nothing would make my nethers dry up quicker than this behaviour, good lord. My husband is very attracted to me, but he saves that sort of thing for when not around the kids,” one person wrote.
“Not normal? The pushing on bed and wall thing can be reserved for when the kids aren’t around,” someone else wrote. “They’re going to emulate this behavior eventually without understanding it. Affection is fine but this seems like too much.”
Another commenter agreed it was a bit much. “I also have memories of my dad doing stuff like this. I assume he thought I was too young to understand (and I was at the time). My mom would chastise him. Now looking back at it, I find it gross and disturbing,” the person wrote. “I hate the memories of it. That may just be me though! I don’t want to shame any parent for having a sex life, but I also think kids shouldn’t be exposed to sexual things too young, and discussions surrounding sexuality should be intentional and happen at an appropriate age.”
Many reminded her that she isn't the only one being affected by this behavior.
“For me personally, this is too far. Forcefully moving your body (pushing you and bending you) is too much in front of the kids in my opinion. I totally understand some people liking these relationship dynamics in private, but kids should only see soft, reciprocal love in my opinion,” another person commented. “They’re still learning about how to interact with the world and I would personally worry about them thinking its okay to force people into positions or mimic what they are seeing. Plus it sounds like it makes you uncomfortable which is the worst part of the whole situation.”
Someone else chimed in, sharing, “If you wouldn’t want your kid doing it to you, you shouldn’t do it in front of them. My partner loves my behind and is very attracted to me, when my boys were smaller he was like that, always touching and grabbing, and I was so touched out I had to flip out on him to stop, because my son was starting to pat me on the butt. Kids will mirror what they see and how they react.”
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