Though some couples might not always travel together, open communication is obviously important. One husband on Reddit has faced backlash for planning a trip with his female friend and not inviting his wife.
While the man says that he talked to his wife before booking the trip, others — including his wife — seemed unconvinced. To many people, his behavior seems inappropriate for a married man.
More from CafeMom: Struggling With Toddler’s Sleep Regression Mom Checked Herself Into Hotel for a Solo Sleep-Cation
When he was in high school, the husband made a deal with his female friend.
In a post on Reddit, the man, 30, explained that he has been close with his female friend, whom he referred to as “A,” 29, since they were teenagers. At the time, his friend started smoking due to peer pressure, but wanted to quit. They made a deal: If she quit smoking, he would pay for her dream vacation.
The husband explained that he and his female friend “both share a love of cars and motorsports.”
“The deal was that if she never picked up a cigarette again, I would fly us out to and get grandstand tickets for her favorite F1 race,” he explained.
His wife knew about the deal.
His friendship with his close female friend has never been a secret. The man’s wife has known about her husband’s deal with his female friend from the time they met. In his post, the man assured people that his wife “never had a problem with” the deal. She even called it “wholesome.”
Additionally, he made it clear that “nothing has ever happened between” him and his friend and their “sibling like relationship” is entirely platonic. Though his wife and his female friend aren’t best friends, “they get along quite well.”
More from CafeMom: After Raising Each Other’s Kids Due To IVF Mix-Up, Two Couples Blended Their Families
Recently, the man finally had the ability to make his friend's dream trip a reality.
Though they made the deal many years ago, the man didn’t have “the money, time and circumstances for this trip” until recently. In September, the husband bought plane tickets and tickets for the Formula One race. However, he only got two of each, meaning that his wife couldn’t go. In his mind, he made this clear to his wife.
“I had always thought that it was known that the trip was going to be just me and A as per the deal we made ages ago,” the man wrote. “When I was booking the tickets in september I mentioned this and my wife had 0 problems with it.”
His wife didn't realize she wasn't invited.
Clearly, the husband and wife interpreted the plans differently. A few days ago, the man’s wife told him that she was looking forward to the upcoming trip. “I gently let her know that I have only booked two tickets for the race and flights,” he explained. “She was upset about this and I was really confused because I thought I had made it clear that this trip was for A and it would just be us two.”
After finding this out, the man’s wife had a seemingly simple solution: she asked him to purchase tickets for her. However, he told her tickets were sold out. She then asked if he could purchase a plane ticket for her. That way, she could join them on the trip, but not attend the race.
While he could’ve done this, he didn’t want to. “I’m not inclined to do that as, and I know this sounds childish, but this was a me and A thing since we made the deal,” the husband explained.
His wife has barely spoken to him since.
After finding out that her husband had no desire to include her, she has “seemed really upset.” She has also seen her husband’s close female friend recently and acted “very cold towards her.” “I don’t know if she doesn’t trust me or if it’s because of some insecurity,” the man wrote.
He asked Redditors to weigh in.
After reading the man’s story, most Redditors did not side with the man. Though the man said he communicated with his wife, some Redditors didn’t believe him. “Just the fact that you said you ‘had always thought it was known’ about the trip just being for you and your friend clearly tells me you did not communicate all the details of your trip to your wife and only ASSUMED she filled in the gaps herself,” one person wrote.
The fact that the man planned a trip with his friend is not an inherent problem — but the way he went about it seemed problematic to a lot of people on Reddit.
“Dude, this is so inappropriate,” one person commented. “Not because of your friendship and the opposite genders. You made a deal when you were a kid. You are now married, you are a team with your wife. You have bulldozed that partnership by acting like a teenager.”
Some questioned if he's ever planned a vacation with his wife.
“Have you ever taken your wife on an expensive trip like this before (not including your honeymoon if you even did a trip for it)?” one person wondered. “I’m asking because the way the post sounds, it seems that this is the first time you’ve had enough money to go on a vacation and you used it to fund a trip with a friend that doesn’t even include your wife.”
Some Redditors also called the husband out for saying that he used “his money” to pay for the lavish trip.
“Wait so you want to leave your SAHM wife with the kids while you galavant around to a F1 race with another woman,” one Redditor pointed out. “AND you are paying for the whole vacation like a sugar daddy or boyfriend would… You sound like a real treat of a husband calling it ‘your money’ while your wife sacrifices to stay home and raise the kids you made.”
The man later edited his post and said he would book a flight for his wife. However, even after he did so, Redditors called him out for being “guilted and peer pressured by strangers on Reddit to invite your wife.”
Regardless of any deals made, seems to us, he should have at least asked his wife if she wanted to join in so she wouldn’t feel excluded and consequently awkward, about her man traveling alone with another woman, or even just simply left out.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
