You might go in for a hug when you see someone you haven't been around for a while. It's not uncommon, and it's pretty socially acceptable in many cultures, even if it is with someone of the opposite sex. But a quick hug is where a lot of people draw the line.
Things can get awkward if the person you hug squeezes more than they should. One woman wrote in to Dear Abby about her daughter's father-in-law and his tendency to put his hands where they aren't supposed to go during a hug. This guy is a butt grabber, and it is making the whole family uncomfortable. What do they do?
More from CafeMom: I Just Found Out My Fiancé Was a Sperm Donor for His Friend's 3 Kids & I Am Not OK With It
Gil, the inappropriate hugger, is grabbing everyone's buns.
The original poster told Dear Abby the issue is with her son-in-law Jerry's stepdad, Gil. OP's daughter, Lia, told her mom that Gil had hugged her in the past and touched her butt, and it was weird. OP and her family visited Gil and his wife recently, and he did it to her, too!
"Gil gave me a hug around my back, and then slid his hand down my back and grabbed my buttock with a quick squeeze! His wife was standing in front of us when he did it. I looked at her in shock," she wrote. "She looked down at the floor and then at me, expressionless. After I told my daughter what he had done, she told me he had done it to her as well."
Now Jerry and Lia are uncomfortable around Gil.
Since they have figured out that Gil isn't just interested in Lia, they are concerned about leaving their children at his house.
"My son-in-law wants to tell his mother he doesn't feel comfortable leaving his young daughters at their house. I know Lia and I should have said something when it happened, but we were caught off guard and didn't call him on it," OP wrote. "How do you think this should be handled?"
Abby said Gil's acting pretty creepy.
The advice columnist thinks that Gil's behavior was out of line and that they all had a right to be concerned about leaving their kids around him. He may be innocent, but it's not worth chancing, particularly because he isn't discriminating about who he touches.
"You, your daughter and Jerry need to explain that fact to Jerry's mother and her husband. From now on, it makes sense that Jerry's mother should visit her little granddaughters at Lia and Jerry's without her spouse," she wrote.
Many commenters agreed.
"At the first fondling incident Lia should've sent a clear message with a quick punch to Gil's throat. His behavior is of a dirty old man at best, a full blown perv predator at worst," someone commented. "Surprising you ask Abby about leaving the children potentially alone with Gil. That's a hard 'NO' and his wife knows d— well why."
"We had a letch brother-in-law who terrified the under 18 girls in my family for two generations. We kept quiet because we didn't want to hurt my sister," someone else wrote. "When a niece finally spilled the beans and my sister found out, she was devastated and has never fully recovered. Moral of the story — nip it in the bud."
Then there was this piece of sage advice from a commenter: "Dear Buttocks Survivor, the next time you see Gil, grab his testicles with both hands and squeeze as hard as you can until he drops to his knees in pain. Pick up the nearest blunt object and bash him in the head a few times while shouting 'If you touch my butt again, I will end you' Then spit in his face and leave. Tell the mother in law she married a predator on your way out."
More from CafeMom: New Moms: Here’s Why You Need to Get Out of the House
People online agree: It's time to say goodbye to Gil.
Gil is a creep and needs to be put in his place. Sorry, not sorry. No one has a right to touch anyone's body for any reason. If it feels wrong, it is, and Gil needs to know that.
Abby is looking out for the kids' best interest, and she believes, and many agree, they don't need to be around someone who can't control inappropriate impulses. Hopefully he'll get the picture and keep his hands to himself.
