One woman was heartbroken to learn that her husband cheated on her. I mean, who wouldn’t be, it’s a huge betrayal of trust. But unfortunately for her, that wasn’t the worst part of her heartbreak.
Things became really bad when the woman learned her husband cheated on her with her own mom. Now the woman has turned to Reddit looking for a little advice on how to fix her life after everything “imploded.”
The woman told the whole sordid story in a since-deleted post on Reddit.
Her husband confessed his guilty past to her recently, and explained the illicit affair all went down while he was extremely drunk at his bachelor party.
“He doesn't drink often and overdid it,” she explained in her post.
At the time, “I thought nothing of it,” she wrote. “Looking back I can see how he was acting pretty off which I assumed at the time was wedding jitters.”
It wasn’t jitters that had him acting strange.
He admitted that he remembered coming home that night, which is where the original poster’s mom was waiting for him.
“He went along with it to the point of ending up having sex in her bed,” she wrote. “In fact, he passed out in her bed and was there the whole night.”
Meanwhile, the OP had gone out for her bachelorette party and assumed he crashed with a friend when she came home and learned he wasn’t there. He'd told her that he would stay with a friend if he drank too much throughout the night.
“But he was actually with my mother. Right in the room next f---ing door.”
Her husband quietly slipped out of her mother’s room the next morning while she was asleep.
“Then opened the door pretending he'd just come home after sleeping off the drunkenness at his friends,” she wrote. “He got into bed with me and told me that lie."
To add insult to injury “he also initiated sex soon after. He'd been f—ing my mother mere hours before. We got married the very next day.”
It’s safe to say that now the bloom has officially come off the rose.
As for her mother, the OP wrote that she’d always tried to flirt with the guys the OP dated — although it never went this far before.
“My husband KNEW this. We'd laughed about it, he assured me he would never in a million years think she was attractive,” she wrote. “What the f—.”
The OP confronted her mother — she said, "Husband told me everything."
Her mother spent “several minutes” trying to pretend she had no idea what the OP was talking about before flat out denying it and telling the OP that her husband was making it up.
“THEN claiming she'd woken up to my husband forcing himself on her!” she wrote. “The sheer audacity of the bulls— she is capable of is beyond any disgust I can properly convey.”
It was clear that her mother was never going to be forthcoming with her, so the OP hung up and cried her heart out instead.
"I'm not even worth basic honesty in my own mother's eyes. I'm not even worth a half a–ed 'I'm sorry' to her," she lamented. "The person who's supposed to love you no matter what."
She worried that her mom thought she was stupid, after all she reasoned, "Why keep lying to someone who knows you're lying unless you actually think they'd fall for your s—?"
Now the OP feels completely lost.
Like she was in a dream — "everything feels unreal."
"I've lost the two most important people in my life," she explained. "Because they decided that I wasn't as important to them as having a quick f—. Well, hope it was the best 10 minutes of their lives."
Even if her husband never planned on sleeping with her mother, the OP didn’t think she could ever forgive him for what he did.
“That doesn't change the fact he and my mom have had sex.”
“No one should be able to say that about their spouse, how is that normal?” she asked. “I cannot imagine remaining in a marriage where my spouse has f—– my mom.”
In the OP’s mind, there was really no way to come back from this and in hindsight she felt “revolted” about all the family visits they’ve had with her mother where the two of them played it cool.
“We were going to be together for the rest of our lives. Now it's gone, just like that I have nothing,” she continued. “What can I do now? How do I possibly explain to the rest of my family why we're divorcing? I am so. f—ing. Humiliated.”
People had advice on how the OP could possibly try to move on from the situation.
"Therapy," suggested one commenter. "You can't make sense of trash people. Just worry about yourself and your healing."
"My sister dated a guy years ago who turned around and slept with our mother a few times before she figured it out and kicked him to the curb," shared. "He was a piece of work…as is my mother."
While a third commenter put it like this: "Mourn what you have lost, get a good therapist, cut your losses on this one. I’m so sorry OP I don’t even know what I would do if this happened to me, sending hugs and wishing you all the very best."
And if all of ~this~ wasn’t bad enough, in an update to her first post the OP shared how the situation actually got worse.
After reading some commenter’s concerned messages that her husband had been forced upon by her mother — after all, he had been drinking that night — the OP asked him if he thought he’d been taken advantage of.
“There was a long pause, he sighed and gave me this look that was just full of guilt and sadness and then basically said, no, that it would be ‘easy to go with the out I was giving him’ but that I ‘deserved the full truth,’” she wrote. “He then proceeded to tell me that before that night, they had been sexting for several months.”
*Oddly enough*, he didn’t tell her about the sexts when he confessed the first time.
He said he left out the messages because they were the “biggest issue” and he didn’t want to hurt the OP any more by “giving all the leadup details.”
“He only gave them this time out of some remaining sense of honor, I guess,” she wrote. “He said he'd be even more of a coward if he mislead me to think it was rape. So I guess he's not as much of a liar as he could be…don't know how to feel about that.”
The sexts included exchanging nudes for months before the wedding day.
Her husband said he couldn’t explain why he did what he did, merely that he’d gotten “caught up in the thrill of doing something forbidden.”
“There were implications made about wanting to do things in real life as a ‘one night’ thing should the opportunity ever arise. Disgusting,” she wrote.
And while the OP assumed that her husband had sort of been coerced into sleeping with her mother on the night of his bachelor party — he admitted it had all been planned before the big night.
He even told her he’d be at a friend's house if he got too drunk as a cover, and purposely left his party early so he could sleep with her mother before she would get back from her own bachelorette party.
“It was just that important to him to have the full experience of falling asleep after sex and waking up next to each other. He reiterated that he had been aware the whole time of what he was doing. He was not as drunk as he'd made it seem the next morning when he claimed not to remember anything that happened.”
Her husband swore that it was a one time thing — he only texted her mother the next day to make her swear never to tell the OP “she'd lose me if I knew, so she better never let it slip,” he wrote. “She agreed.”
He said that ever since that night they’ve had a “normal” relationship, but the OP couldn’t really forgive him for keeping the secret for two years.
In the end, the OP decided to kick her husband out of the house and divorce him.
“Not looking forward to a legal battle whatsoever but there's no possible way to remain married after this s—,” she wrote.
The OP wrote that she suspected there were signs that things were off with her husband that she clearly missed — "He's said in the past about wishing he'd had more sexual partners before me, because he felt like he had missed out on his youth,” she explained.
He was also a big fan of porn — “stepmom is his favorite genre, it never struck me as anything other than a dumb porn thing.”
But now it’ll probably take some time before she heals from this messy situation.
“Whatever. I won't be dating for a long long time because obviously I'm colorblind to red flags,” she wrote.
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