One parent could hardly believe it when another mom told them that their kids needed to dye their hair a "natural color" before they could come to her daughter's birthday party. I mean, that's a pretty strict dress code. But instead of forcing their kids to get rid of their purple hair, the parent threw their own Halloween bash instead — and now the other mom is ticked.
According to the parent, both of their daughters have purple hair.
The 11- and 10-year-olds love their purple hair and have been getting their hair dyed this way since they were 6.
But not everyone is a fan.
“They were invited to a little girl's birthday/Halloween party under the condition they have their hair dyed a natural color,” the original poster wrote. “I asked why and the mother insisted their hair would take away from birthday pictures cause they'd draw attention.”
The OP asked if their kids could just avoid being in pictures.
“She said there's no way to guarantee that and to either dye their hair a ‘normal’ color or they can't come,” they wrote. So the OP decided on a new plan.
“I decided to throw a party for my daughters on Halloween since they won't be able to go to that one and invited her classmates (the girl was in a completely separate class),” they wrote. “We had the party; cake, bounce house, candy piñata and all that cool jazz.”
The kids had a great time and the OP posted photos of the party online.
And unfortunately the other mom saw.
She “asked what right I had to steal her daughter's moment from her,” the OP wrote. “Her daughter saw the pictures and was upset she didn't get to come to the party because they didn't have the things we did.”
The mom called the OP an a–hole for “one upping” her party “just because my kids couldn't come to their party and that if I really wanted them there I would've just dyed their hair.”
“Am I the A–hole?”
Some people in the comments section applauded the parent for making sure their kids had a fun time.
"[Not the A–hole]," wrote one commenter. "What a controlling person. Yikes. She tried to punish your kids for their hair color."
"Totally WTF kind of ridiculous gatekeeping is this??" another commenter wondered. "It's for a flippin' birthday party – on Halloween no less, when unusual hair colours are more common. I could almost understand if it were for a formal event like a wedding, but even then asking someone to change their hair colour is pretty iffy. But for a child's birthday photos? Has she ever even looked at pictures of herself from childhood – NOTHING ages well over time."
"[Not the A–hole], I’ll bet her daughter has been asking to dye her hair and because of your girls [and] the mom can’t say, 'you’re too young to dye your hair,'" a poster with another theory wrote. "Mom probably thought she could solve the 'problem,' if your girls went back to natural colors for several days (I doubt it’s healthy for hair to dye it multiple times within a day or two so your girls would be non-purple for a bit) her daughter would stop asking."
But other people thought the OP was being petty.
"You could have still invited the little girl," wrote one commenter. "This was a spite party. You made your party better on purpose. Don’t act surprised getting called out on it. Also I think the little girl’s mom thought people would ask more about the girls with the cool hair when they saw the pictures. She sucks for that but I don’t think she was being judgmental just shallow(?). If she was being judgmental she would have never invited them in the 1st place."
"[You're the A–hole]," a third commenter noted. "Ok hear me out, the b-day girl's mom is extremely judgmental and a poor parent. But it’s not the bday girl’s fault her mom is like that. There’s no reason to ruin her birthday by having a party on the same day. It’s petty and immature. If OP had the party the following day, it would be a completely different situation, and the bday girls mom would be the only one in the wrong, but now both mothers are showing a horrible example to their kids."
"[You're the A–hole] for dying your child's hair," one third commenter chimed in.
The OP tried to explain that they never meant to ruin the other girl's party.
"I did not throw a party on some obscure day that happened to be her birthday for the giggles and the pettys, it was a Halloween party on Halloween," the OP wrote in an update to their post. And in their mind, there was no way they could ever upstage what the other mother had planned.
"That lady is in a completely different tax bracket than me," they wrote. "She had a pony, assorted teas catered and a wagon ride as well."
"The party I threw was a Frankenstein bounce house my husband had from a few Halloweens ago, a few piñatas from party city and like $120 of candy and about $100 in snacks and some basic carnival games (corn hole, balloon darts, sack race)," they added.
And a much more lax dress code, I'm sure — colorful hair completely welcome.
