When a pregnancy happens unexpectedly, parents sometimes don't feel ready for the baby. They may rely on family and friends to help them get on their feet and provide the best living situation for their baby. But as we all know, living in someone else's home comes with its own rules. We have to respect those rules or risk ending up evicted.
A woman posted about her son and daughter-in-law, who have been living with her, on Reddit's AITA forum. They are expecting a baby, and the original poster is not impressed with the way they've been taking care of her home. She blew up at them and said if they don't start cleaning up after themselves, they're out. Is it too much to ask for them not to be total slobs?
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The baby was not planned.
In her post, OP explains that even though her son and daughter-in-law have been together since college and are in their early 20s, they weren't planning to have a baby now. They were living in an apartment but moved in with the OP to save a bit of money. She was OK with that but laid down some rules.
"They wanted to save money for the baby. I made it clear they will need to do chores and bu[y] [their] own food. They agreed and are so messy," she wrote. "I have talked to both of them before and they keep telling me they will do better. My son has been traveling for a job and it became clear that she is the one being a mess. In short she is slob, she leaves dishes out constantly, her stuff is all over the house, her bathroom is so gross."
OP doesn't think they are getting it.
She claims she'd brought up the mess to them over and over in the past and that nothing changed. She fell as a result of their chaos recently, and that was the final straw.
"I came home with groceries and tripped over her shoes. I had enough. I told her that she isn't giving birth to Jesus and if she doesn't clean than she can get out of my house," she wrote. "She started to cry and my son is p—ed at me. I reminded him that I am doing them a huge favor and doubled down on cleaning."
So, who is in the wrong?
Some people wondered what would happen when the baby came.
Redditors understood that OP's DIL may not feel her best being pregnant but agree that doesn't mean she is devoid of all responsibility.
"NTA. The girl is a slob. If she can't pick up after herself how is she going to pick up after a baby?" one person commented. "This girl is far from ready to be a mother. Tell your son to get his girlfriend to clean up after herself or they will have to go."
This is OP's house after all, like this person pointed out. "I'm going to reluctantly say NTA because technically you're in the right but really you should have dealt with this months ago, after she has the baby she's not going to get to a full nights sleep for months and she sounds like she's high risk for PPD which yeah," the person wrote.
Plenty of others think OP wasn't doing herself any favors.
Sure, OP's son and DIL aren't helping, but she might have created this monster.
"ESH. While some cleaning chemicals and chores might need to be avoided while pregnant, she can certainly do the bare minimum of not leaving a mess," one comment reads. "But why are you just threatening to kick her out when your son is also part of the problem? He should be cleaning up after himself and he should be helping out his pregnant girlfriend."
Some believe that OP was 100% in the wrong.
"This is why kids go no contact with [their] parents and then parents 'don't understand' lol You are kicking out your pregnant daughter-in-law just because she can't clean? this is the lowest of human being behavior there is. Don't complain later when they don't want anything to do with you, including being in your grandchild life," one commenter wrote. "They need you. She needs you. Remember the time you were young broke and also needed help. You need a huge dose of empathy! YOU ARE THE A–HOLE."
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It appears everyone needs to do better.
Redditors believe a lot of blame was being thrown around, but in the end, these are all adults who need to act like it.
"Esh. You wait until she's ready to pop, your son is not there & say it so offensively?! You should have put your foot down a long time ago. Not wait until you explode," someone commented. "It is hard to move at 8 mths, esp if it's hot (doesn't excuse it though). I completely understand- my step $ granddaughter just moved out after being here 10mths. She has cleaned 0xs."
"My 7 yr old granddaughter helps but not mom. And I only expected her to clean after herself or her child or their bathroom/bedroom," one person shared with empathy. "I would throw little hints which she would intentionally ignore but it's my own fault. This is on you for allowing it."
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