Sometimes mothers-in-law need to just mind their own business, right? Not all of them are nosy, opinionated, and in your day-to-day life all the time, but when they are, it can be exhausting. When it comes to raising your kids, you should be able to make the decisions you feel are right without facing harsh criticism. But sure enough, if you've got one of those meddling MILs, she is going to say something one of these days that will set you off.
A woman recently posted in Reddit's AITA forum to blow off some steam about her MIL. She has two children — a son, J, 2, and a daughter, S, 7 months. The family lived happily in their daily routine until the original poster's MIL came around running her mouth. OP bathes her kids together, which she thinks is totally normal and makes her life easier. Her MIL threw a fit when she saw it, and OP ended up kicking her out. Now she's feeling a little regretful, though. Should she?
OP bathes her kids at night after dinner.
Like many moms, OP waits until after dinner to bathe her kids. That's when they're their messiest, and it just makes sense. Recently OP's MIL was over for dinner and happened to still be there at bath time. OP asked if she would mind watching the kids for a minute while she prepared the bath.
"Well I believe she though I was going to bath both kids separately because as I begin to undress them both she walks into the bath room and start yelling at me," OP wrote on Reddit.
MIL called OP 'disgusting.'
MIL got big mad about the kids bathing together and started with the name-calling.
Yikes. That seems a tad harsh, but she went on.
"She walks into the bath room and start yelling at me how disgusting I am to bath both my kids together (they are brother and sister) saying it's going to confuse them and they will properly turn out all messed up like my family," OP explained.
Low blow, MIL. You don't go after someone's family. OP said her family has mental health issues. It's not a joke and not OK.
OP had enough.
She listened to her MIL long enough and finally snapped. "After about a solid few minutes of her yelling hurtful things at me about bathing my kids together I yelled at her to get the hell out of my house," OP continued.
Who wouldn't do that? You're insulting her parenting and her children and you think that someone is going to stick around for that? No thanks, MIL. True to form, the MIL is now sending OP "hurtful messages" that are making her question the situation.
Reddit didn't see the problem with bathing the children together.
It's not like OP has teenagers in the tub at the same time. By that time of night, moms are tired, and if they can knock it out all at once, they do. Many Redditors think MIL is trying to sexualize the situation, which is gross.
"NTA. They're babies. They're babies! They're babies. You're fine. They're babies," someone commented.
"NTA. Seriously why are they sexualizing babies?!They. Are. Babies. And. Will. Not. Remember," read another comment.
"My parents bathed me and my brother together (1-½ year gap) no issues … we would play in the water together. Naked bodies are not bad things it's not sexual for children to bath together," one person pointed out. "Your MIL is the one who is confused here."
This is totally normal in a lot of families.
Bathing kids together is common among the Reddit crowd, so they felt like this was absolutely no big deal.
"NTA not even close or even in the same solar system. My big and girl bathed together till they were 7 and 5 respectively. She's being a sexual deviant making it something it is not. Tell her she won't bath the kids in the future. And BTW someone needs to pee with the bathroom door open in front of her," one person joked.
"NTA — very normal for siblings that age to bathed together, and there are good practical reasons for it," another person agreed. "Your MIL has some weird hang ups."
One person suggested putting it back on the MIL, writing, "Next time she brings it up summon all the horrified [indignation] you can muster and ask her why her mind would even go there 'these are babies, don't put your perverted beliefs on them how could you even suggest such a thing, maybe you should seek some therapy if seeing a baby in a bath makes you think of such inappropriate things' turn it around on her and don't let up. My Irish twins (girl and boy) bathed together until they were about 5."
The consensus is that MIL needs to stay in her lane.
Redditors are not having this attitude from OP's MIL. She is sticking her nose where it doesn't belong.
"MIL was way out of line and should not be welcomed back into your home until she apologizes to you," one person wrote. "Husband should back you up on this or else he's an AH too."
"My mom bathed me (female) and my brother together when we were even a bit older than that. I actually kinda forgot about it until I read your post," another commenter wrote. "Your MIL was way out of line with the things she said to you and about your family."
"NTA but block her. She has no right attacking you for something so innocent. She's the one with issues that she needs therapy for. I hope your husband has your back," read another comment.
And Redditors are calling for MIL to apologize.
"Wtf is your MIL talking about? My brother and I bathed together until he was old enough to want privacy. This is not weird and your MIL is psychotic," one person wrote. "Time to ban her from the house until you're given a MAJOR apology."
]OP, Reddit doesn't think that you are doing anything wrong.
We are talking about babies. They probably enjoy being in the water together and splashing around. Will they eventually get too old to bathe together? Yes. But for now, Redditors think you should keep doing what you're doing.
If it can save a tired mom a step after a long day, it is totally acceptable. If your MIL can't keep her thoughts to herself, then she needs to stay away. Her parenting days are over.
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