There are different moments that define the end of a relationship. For some, it is learning that your partner cheated. For others, it’s an argument that gets out of hand and shows you their true colors. But those are child’s play compared to the reasons that people shared in a TikTok post about “the exact millisecond” they knew their marriages and relationships were over.
The TikToker who posted the prompt wrote on the screen, “i want to know the exact millisecond that you knew it was completely over with your spouse/partner. and not just ‘i found out he cheated’ like when was the exact second you felt it in your bones.” People who experienced specific moments of knowing it was the end flew to the comments to share their stories.
The ‘exact millisecond’ people knew their relationship was over is different for everyone.
Some commenters reported a gut feeling that told them to suddenly run for the hills. Others shared that it was friends or family members of theirs or their partner that convinced them, in certain ways, to end things immediately. Although it might sound harsh or too spontaneous to make such a big move, for some people, when you know, you know.
“When our marriage therapist called to make an only me appointment,” one person commented on the video. “She told me he was a narcissist and psychopath and I needed to leave. She and my regular therapist helped come up with a plan.”
For other people, they put themselves in a position to be broken up with whether they meant to or not.
“He handed me his phone to show me something and a woman he said he never liked texted him goodnight sweetheart that very second,” a woman shared under the video.
Another person commented that their partner’s parents noticed “a fire” inside her that they knew their son didn’t have. They told her they wouldn’t be surprised when she inevitably left their son.
Someone else wrote, “His mother told me if she could pick one person to be with her son, it would be me. But if she could one person to be with me, it would not be her son. Packed my things, moved a state away.”
Others realized in a different way the relationship was over.
Some of the people who commented on the video wrote that they used the gray rock method with their partners. When that didn’t give their boyfriends and husbands a wake-up call, they knew it was time to go. Even though that isn’t a millisecond on its own, it does speak to the moment some of them knew it was over.
According to MyWellBeing, the grey rock method is used when someone wants to act boring and unresponsive during a conflict. The idea is that the person who practices “grey rocking” does not feed into the behavior or fight that the other person wants, and sometimes, it de-escalates situations.
Then, there are people who realize one day, without warning, that they are simply not attracted or interested in their partner anymore. Maybe there were warning signs, but for some people, it suddenly creeps up.
That was the case for one woman, who commented on the TikTok with this: “I woke up one random day and realized I actually hated him and couldn’t even speak to him ever.”
