Unfortunately, you can’t always spell wedding without D-R-A-M-A — especially if you’re asking for favors from some of your guests. Take one person who started a whole mess of trouble when they asked their police officer brother-in-law for special treatment.
According to what the original poster wrote on Reddit, they were hoping that their brother-in-law would stand guard at their wedding, but some people in the comments were giving them the side-eye for asking him to work on their big day.
This whole mess really starts with the OP’s relationship with their future in-laws.
As they explained in their post, their in-laws never really “approved” of them and things only got worse when the OP and their fiancée announced their engagement.
“My fiancée's parents lost their invitations after threatening to show up and ruin the wedding,” the OP explained, meaning they were uninvited. But the OP can’t guarantee that they won’t show up because the wedding will be at their house.
“I kept stressing about that and since our budget could barely cover wedding expenses, I figured hiring security guards won't be possible,” they wrote.
So the OP reached out to their sister and her husband — even though they aren’t really that close.
They met up at their parents' house and after explaining the situation to them the OP asked their brother-in-law “if he could secure the wedding and stand watch from start to finish to make sure no s—shows or interruptions will happen.”
“For some reason, the room went radio silent, my brother-in-law just stared at me and then covered his mouth like he was pissed or something,” the OP recalled.
Again, the OP tried to emphasize what “wackos” their future in-laws were and said they were “just trying to make sure my wedding won't get ruined.”
“He kept quiet but I told him it's my only way and he perhaps should say yes because of my financial situation,” the OP recalled.
This didn’t sit well with the OP’s sister, who asked them to join her in the kitchen where she gave them a thorough dressing down.
She “went off on me saying I went way out of line and should stop treating her husband as my servant, and expecting him to do whatever I want just because I felt bold enough to ask,” the OP wrote. “She also said she was appalled that I'd even consider making my brother in law play security guard and not attend the wedding like any other decent guest.”
The OP shot back that they only asked because their BIL is trained and they wanted to make sure that nothing went awry.
“Also I can not afford to hire a professional security, that would be a bad idea anyway cause my friends will start asking questions,” the OP continued. “But if it's my brother in law who's experienced in dealing with these kind of situations and knows how to de-escalate than that's a win win.”
The OP’s sister said that her husband was offended and that the OP had “disrespected” him “then told me he doesn't have to do anything for me and my problems are mine to deal and not his to worry about.”
“I said fine but I won't be welcoming him at the wedding then,” they wrote.
Their sister then “berated” the OP “saying I'm being an opportunist a–hole and walked out,” they wrote. “They left shortly and my parents said I really shouldn't have asked then pressed the issue by saying brother in law isn't welcome to the wedding if he says no.”
“AITA or were they overreacting?” they wondered.
Unfortunately for the OP, their position was not a popular one.
“[You're the A–hole]," one person commented. "Can you work for free at my wedding? No? Then don’t come to my wedding. Yep. Your the a–hole here."
Another commenter advised: "The correct question would have been: 'Do you know a coworker or somebody who I might be able to hire to stand guard at my wedding and reception? They could wear what they wanted and would be welcomed to enjoy the reception as long as everything went smoothly. We expect to pay the standard going rate.'"
"First, you ask your BIL to work at your wedding, which is totally inappropriate," a third commenter noted. "He's family. Your supposed to want him there to celebrate with you and your fiance, not be a free bouncer. But wait, you doubled down on your entitlement, telling him that not only should he agree because you don't have a budget for security, but he's uninvited if he doesn't do it. You should apologize to your BIL and elope."
But somehow, some way, there were some commenters who saw the OP's side.
“[Not the A–hole]," one person wrote. "How did you disrespect him?"
“[Not the A–hole] – he could have just said no and your sister didn't need to get all angry," another person added.
“[Not the A–hole], they're not even close," a third commenter chimed in.
Sorry OP, but when it comes to asking a favor, you always have to anticipate that the person will say no — and then handle it gracefully when they do.
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