One very mistaken idea about plus-size women is that we all have big boobs and a full booty.
I can understand why people might that think that, though — since even plus-size brands only like to cast models with hourglass shapes. The reality is that a lot of us have more in the middle than we do on top or bottom. And that's OK!
Still, products like padded underwear — aka butt pads, aka the closest thing to a butt lift that doesn't involve a scalpel — exist. And lots of women love and swear by them.
I decided to see what all the fuss is about.
Finding padded underwear in my size was not easy! Many stores only went up to an XL.
When I asked the sales associate for a butt pad in a 3X, she said they didn't have it and tried to sell me to a full-body girdle…
*Cue eye roll*
After playing Goldilocks and trying to find the best fit for my butt, I ended up at a small, Asian-owned shapewear store in Queens, New York.
As soon as I asked for padded underwear, the attendant pulled out this pink "FREE SIZE" pair of boxer undies.
Yup, "free size." It's bad enough that we too often get 2X and 3X instead of actual sizes — one size fits all is a joke.
After a quick inspection of the underwear, I found a secret pocket.
What the actual fuck is this?!
It was time to try them on. Here is a before (left) and an after (right.)
The difference is subtle, but noticeable.
It wasn't until I saw my behind in a form-fitting dress that I realized how small and not-big-girl-friendly these particular butt pads are.
It was like I was wearing a mini butt on my butt.
FYI: If your SO goes in for a playful butt slap, they're in for a surprise...
The pad creates a sound effect when slapped; somewhere between a bongo and a pillow.
ALSO: The pads move around when you sit down!
If you think I was going to put on butt pads and NOT recreate a Kylie Jenner selfie, you don't know me very well yet.
In all honesty, I only wore these for three hours. I couldn't live this uncomfortable lie any longer!
After practicing self-love for so long, I felt ridiculous trying to achieve a body type that was not meant for me.
Wearing this ill-fitting butt pad reminded me that accepting my body is more important than filling out my jeans. I am fine just the way I am.