After a busy week of drop-offs, pickups, meetings, and errands, having sex can seem like more work than fun. But getting under the sheets doesn’t have to be a chore. You may sweat a bit, but they’ll be beads of pleasure.
Heather Shannon, LCPC, CST, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and host of the Ask A Sex Therapist podcast loves the idea of lazy sex. She acknowledges that most of us are busy and tired, which is especially true for us moms. But that doesn’t mean we can’t connect on an intimate level with another person.
Shannon says that to enjoy sex positions that aren’t too much work is to let go of any attachment to outcomes like orgasms. She adds that “penetration” can happen with a finger, toy, penis, or strap-on. It’s your choice!
“Stay focused on the sensations and enjoyment of just touching. Allow your bodies to move slowly and savor sensations rather than rushing through them. Approach this type of sex like a stroll in the park where you’re stopping to smell the roses,” advises Shannon.
For busy moms who want to be intimate with their partners without much effort, comfortable yet satisfying positions can make all the difference. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
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1. Spooning
Shannon shares that spooning is a great option when you’re both tired because no one is weight-bearing and you both get to lie down. The big spoon has easy access to the little spoon’s body. Penetrative thrusting can be as little or as much as you want.
This position is perfect for moments when you want to stay close and connected without exerting much energy. The soft, full-body contact makes it feel incredibly intimate and soothing. To make it more exciting, you can experiment with different angles by adjusting the position of the top leg and see how that feels.
2. The Missionary
Lie on your back while your partner leans forward, resting on their forearms or a pillow for support. This relaxed version of the missionary position allows for eye contact and tender kisses without putting strain on either partner’s body. Use a pillow under your hips to enhance sensations and create a more comfortable angle.
3. The Chair
Have your partner sit on a sturdy chair while you sit on top of them. This position allows you to control the pace and depth, and it keeps both partners engaged without too much effort.
Add a sensual element by dimming the lights or playing soft music. Using a silk scarf or robe tie to wrap around your partner’s wrists can bring a playful dynamic.
4. Side-by-Side & Face-to-Face
Lie on your sides facing each other. This position encourages closeness and connection without requiring anyone to hold their weight. It’s excellent for moments when you want a gentle and slow experience. Try exploring each other’s bodies with your hands or lips.
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5. Standing Doggy
Shannon says the standing doggy is easy on the body. Lean against a wall or drape the top half of your body on a countertop or elevated bed and be in a receptive position while your partner licks or penetrates you from behind.
This position is ideal for spontaneous moments when time is limited but passion is high. It’s quick, exciting, and doesn’t require much preparation. Use a mirror to make it visually thrilling or lean forward slightly to change the angle for deeper sensations. Keep it playful and lighthearted for maximum enjoyment.
6. Lap Lying
The giver reclines on a sofa or bed while the receiver lies on top of them at a slight angle. This position minimizes effort while allowing for a relaxed, rhythmic experience. It’s perfect for those times when you want to feel connected without exertion.
Add sensory elements like soft blankets or candles to create a cozy atmosphere. Focus on slow movements to extend the experience and build anticipation.
7. Mutual Masturbation
Sit or lie next to each other and explore yourselves while watching your partner. This position is intimate, low-energy, and allows you to connect without the need for physical exertion. It’s also a great way to learn about each other’s desires.
Make it more exciting by introducing toys, lubricants, or eye contact. Talk about your fantasies as you go to enhance the emotional and erotic connection.
8. Prone Bone
Shannon recommends this relaxed option called the prone bone.
“You literally get to lay on your tummy and not have to move. I think of this one as a collapsed doggy because it can be a lot of work to have to hold yourself up in a typical doggy position. Here you just get to collapse and lay on the bed on your tummy while your partner penetrates you from behind,” shares Shannon.
This variation of doggy style removes the need for kneeling, making it more comfortable for both partners. It’s an effortless way to enjoy deeper sensations. Use a small pillow under your hips to elevate them slightly, creating a more comfortable and pleasurable angle. Adding gentle back rubs can make this position even more sensual.
9. The Sofa Straddle
Have one partner recline on a sofa while the other sits on top, facing them. This seated position is effortless and allows for eye contact, kissing, and slow, intimate movements. It’s especially great for tired evenings when you still want to feel connected.
Add a playful element by exploring each other’s hair, neck, or shoulders with your hands. Use a soft blanket or throw to create a cozy, relaxed environment.
10. The Side Lying 69
This position allows you both to receive and give pleasure simultaneously while lying in a comfortable position. Lay on your side while you facing towards your partner’s genitals and begin to perform oral sex on each other. This requires minimal effort while maintaining closeness and passion.
