There are certain things you just don’t do at someone else’s event. You never wear white to someone else’s wedding, and you never, ever, announce your engagement at someone else’s baby shower — or at least that’s how one woman’s family feels — and they’re letting her know that it was a big mistake to reveal she was engaged while they were supposed to be celebrating her sister-in-law.
This whole thing happened years ago, but it still bothers the Original Poster (OP) to this day.
The OP and her now-husband got engaged after a “terrifying accident” had them questioning everything.
“My husband (then-fiancé), Ben proposed to me in 2011,” she wrote on Reddit. “I said yes, and he put his mother’s old ring on my finger.”
About two months after they got engaged, they were invited to her fiancé’s older sister’s baby shower.
They were so excited for her. They picked out the perfect baby gift and even went a little early to help set up chairs.
At the time her future sister-in-law was dating and living with the baby’s father, Mark.
“I hadn’t ever interacted with M— very much, but he seemed alright,” she wrote.
“The trouble was when their friends and extended family began arriving.”
Obviously, the OP and her fiancé had to make a little small talk — which is when the news slipped.
“While Ben was grabbing some food, a woman said hi to me and asked how I knew [his sister] and Mark.”
So of course, she told her that she was Ben’s fiancé.
This didn’t sit well with Mark.
He just happened to overhear the OP and was furious that she was “announcing her engagement.” He told the OP that this was her future SIL’s day and she was “making it all about me.”
“Since Ben and I had been engaged for two months and I’d been wearing my engagement ring for that entire time, I responded with a confused ‘No …? I’m not …’ and he was still angry that I ‘brought it up,’” she recalled.
In fact, he thought the OP should’ve taken her ring off for the party and kept her mouth shut.
“I definitely didn’t intend to draw attention to myself,” she wrote, “but I don’t have social media (only Ben does) and I know there were people at the baby shower who I had not previously met.”
“Am I The A–hole?” she asked.
Most people agreed that Mark was overreacting.
"[Not the A–hole]. You didn't announce at the shower, just stated how you were related to the guest of honor. Mark sounds like a jerk," one commenter wrote.
A second commenter had a different read on the situation but also didn't blame OP, writing this:
"Sounds like Mark has been getting a lot of comments that he should propose to [Ben's sister] from his family or maybe from her, he is feeling the pressure! Introducing yourself as Ben’s fiancée is not the same as announcing your engagement, it is a bit weird that this guy would make such a big deal out of it. Like I said, sounds like there is more than meets the eye … Mark is insecure maybe?"
"You'd already made your announcement. Saying [your] relation into the family is perfectly fine," a third person commented.
Maybe the commenters were onto something. Later in the thread the OP shared that Mark and her future SIL’s relationship didn’t turn out quite how they planned.
“They split up about a year later,” she wrote.
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