Being an allergy mom is difficult. No parent asks to be put in the position of protecting their child from a slew of triggers that could make their kid sick or even be potentially life-threatening, but it happens. When it does, most moms go above and beyond to make sure their kiddos don’t come into contact with those triggers.
Usually, that involves informing family members and close friends of all the things the child can’t consume or sometimes even be close to so they don’t accidentally expose them when they’re together. People usually respect these things and are often willing to sacrifice their own preferences for a short time to accommodate the person with allergies.
But in one family’s case, some family members have evidently had enough of the accommodations and think a mom in their lives needs to relax or figure out another plan for her kid with allergies.
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A woman took to Reddit after saying some hurtful things to her sister-in-law.
A woman recently posted in Reddit’s AITA forum after she delivered some choice words to her sister-in-law. Her husband’s family has started taking turns hosting family dinners once a month, either at someone’s home or out at a restaurant. It was actually her sister-in-law’s idea. The problem is, her sister-in-law’s 3-year-old is allergic to a lot of different things including wheat, dairy, eggs, soy, various nuts, and cats, and she prefers to avoid him being around those things altogether.
The first month of their dinner rotation, the SIL hosted the dinner at her house, but when it was time for other family member’s turns, things got complicated.
According to the OP, her SIL keeps shooting down dinner suggestions on even the slightest possibility that her son could come into contact with something he’s allergic to.
Now that it's her turn to host, OP couldn't bite her tongue.
She already knew she couldn’t have it at her house because she and her husband have a cat. Instead, she made several restaurant suggestions, each of which was shot down because of a potential allergen.
“I mean it when I say this kid is allergic to everything. Milk, wheat, eggs, soy, tree nuts, peanuts, and half a dozen others that I don’t remember. Oh, hubs and I don’t have or want kids. When it was our turn I suggested 3 restaurants that were middle distance for all 3 families,” the OP explained in her post.
The OP made a couple of valid points.
While trying to figure everything out, the OP mentioned a couple of facts. “I pointed out in the group chat that she always brings baby/toddler food for the kid and they never eat off the menu anyway. I also suggested that she could get a babysitter since she’s been trading off babysitting with a mom from her church,” she wrote.
But her SIL wasn’t budging. That’s when the OP popped off and told her “to get a babysitter or put the kid in a plastic bubble,” also admittedly insinuating that “the kid is too fragile to survive outside of the womb.”
Now, she's wondering if she should have kept her mouth shut.
So, is she the a—hole? Well, most Redditors think so. “I’m going with YTA, because, let’s be real, you sound like a huge one. It’s almost as of you don’t believe the kid has allergies and that your SIL is making them up for unknown reasons,” one person wrote.
“OP is a flaming AH for how she is talking about a child with a medical issue outside of their control. Like, probably one of the most massive AH I’ve seen in 5 years on this sub,” another person commented.
“Sorry no. As a parent with a celiac kid…we don’t go to pizza places that make their own dough. It’s dangerous. Yes inhaling flour can cause a reaction. Yes. It really is that bad. I fully understand why SIL said no to a pizza joint,” someone shared, referencing “wheat dust” OP said was a trigger.
“I’m going with YTA and here’s why: your disdain for the child is completely evident and I’m 99% sure very obvious to your SIL,” another person wrote. “I get it, dealing with kids sucks and that’s fine if you don’t want them! But then bow out of going and the rotation if you’re going to be such a nasty person about it.”
Some people, however, did agree that the SIL is being unreasonable.
“So SIL is still the problem, don’t start a dinner rotation schedule that your child may be super sensitive to. SIL should produce a list of acceptable restaurants and places since it’s her perogative to not get a babysitter. SIL is placing an undue burden on the group in my view,” one person wrote.
“Why can’t SIL just suggest restaurants that she knows works instead of making OP play guessing games??? OP doesn’t know which places are safe and obviously SIL has already done all the research,” another commenter pointed out.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
