Co-parenting is tricky to navigate. Even in the most amicable of splits, little things always pop up and can put a strain on your relationship with your ex. Sometimes it's something as simple as a last-minute scheduling change that can completely topple plans, and other times, it can be much more serious. Anyone who is co-parenting with an ex knows that sometimes it all feels impossible.
But then we remember we're doing it for our kids, and we keep on trying. One woman on TikTok is sharing the positive way she and her ex have figured out how to navigate co-parenting with each other.
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The former couple are making an effort.
Courtany Dobson made a TikTok featuring screen grabs of text exchanges she has with her ex-husband John. In the texts, they do everything from talking about split expenses to lovingly making fun of their kids. Dobson shared the conversations as a way to show others what an amicable co-parenting relationship could look like.
They've chosen their own path to effective co-parenting.
"We didn't go to court. We didn't let strangers decide when our kids could see one another. We don't do child support," Dobson captioned the post. "We pick up the slack when the other parent needs it. We help each other out. Most importantly, our kids are thriving and we give them our absolute all," she continued, adding a heart hand emoji.
Speaking with People, Dobson shared that the exes only spend time together when it's for their kids, such as at school events and other special occasions.
"We were able to throw both kids' birthday parties together, and let me just say our kids will forever cherish us both being there on their birthdays," she told the magazine.
Instead of court-appointed financial agreements, the former couple split all of their kids' bills evenly, including clothing, medical bills, and other costs. If Dobson makes the initial payment, she simply sends her ex receipts and he will reimburse her. They have also worked out a custody schedule that best fits their family's needs.
Dobson got the inspiration to improve her co-parenting relationship from a surprising source.
Both Dobson and her ex have moved on since divorcing four years ago and are in relationships. Dobson has since become a "bonus mom" and has two stepchildren from her current husband's previous relationship. She has actually struck up a relationship with her husband's ex, telling People that they "do everything together," including vacations and one-on-one hangouts.
"My relationship with her inspired me to try really hard with my kids' dad," she shared.
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Their split wasn't always so amicable.
Just because things are amicable between the exes now doesn't mean that was always the case. Following their divorce, there were a lot of fights and "ugly words," according to Dobson. But despite that, they always shielded their kids from their issues.
"If you were to ask our kids though, they would say weāve always been nice to each other because we never showed them that side of us," she admitted. "We just want them to thrive in happy and healthy homes.
"I think itās super important to remember your children did not ask for the divorce," she shared. "So donāt drag them through a messy situation."
People are praising the former couple's efforts.
The comments section of Dobson's post are full of people who are giving her props for the efforts she and her ex are making for their kids.
"As a child with parents who did the furthest from coparenting, thank you your kids will be so grateful," one person wrote.
"My childās mother and I divorced when he was 4, I got custody but choose to do the 50/50 split. Best decision Iāve ever made . Heās 23 and thriving with both parents," another comment reads.
"Pride set aside, parenting at the best! Doing it for the babies!!! This is how it should be done!!! Good job mom and dad!" one person commented.
"You are giving your children such a gift. I know they see it, but they will not even realize it until they are older," someone else chimed in. "Well done to both do you ā¤ļø."
