New Dad ‘Blew Up’ at MIL for Calling Baby by the Wrong Name & Wife Says He’s Overreacting

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New parenthood is hard. We think we're prepared for the sleep deprivation because we had to pull a few all-nighters during college, but it's way different when it's a kid causing us to lose sleep. It's hard to balance trying to get to know a new human who can't communicate in ways other than crying at first and getting used to the new responsibilities. That's why relying on family to help support us during this new parenthood transition is so valuable to many. But it can also cause some strain.

One new dad (OP) took to Reddit to get some advice on an issue he's having with his mother-in-law, who has been around helping a lot since his first child was born.

Posting to Reddit's AITA community, OP said his MIL had some ideas in her head about their first baby, before any grandkids were planned.

OP explained in Reddit's Am I the A–hole forum, "even before my wife and I started to think about kids, her mother has wanted us to name a son after her father."

He continued, "Let's say the name is Sherman. It's not actually Sherman, but think of something equally … generational. Or old-fashioned, perhaps. The important thing is, from day one, I have absolutely hated the name."

When it finally came time for OP and his wife to jump into the parenting world, they welcomed a little boy at the end of 2020. "But since the day we announced the gender, her mother ramped up the Sherman campaign. You might even say it was to the point of scorched earth," OP wrote.

"Luckily my wife and I gave each other 10 'no questions asked rejects' when it came to names," he explained. "Obviously Sherman was the first to go. Ultimately we named our son something we both really liked … let's say his name is Alexander."

When their baby was born, the MIL spent the first three months helping the new parents out a lot.

"Over the past three months, my mother-in-law has been a constant presence," OP explained. "In the beginning, that was a really nice thing. Having an extra pair of hands was a godsend when the wife was waking up every hour to breastfeed and I was doing laundry, bottles, and 5sing on a never-ending loop. And frankly, it continues to help — she makes us dinner, she takes care of the baby, etc."

Although all of that is nice, what OP is really getting to is his MIL calls his baby by the wrong name. Constantly. "With increasing frequency over the last few weeks, she's taking to calling our son 'Sherm' or 'Lil Sherm.' She never calls him Alexander or Alex," he explained.

At first, he just let it go, but now it's irking him.

"The first dozen times I let it slide," OP wrote. "The next dozen times it started to grate on me. The next dozen times, I started to remind her to call him by the right [name] in a joking way. The next dozen times, I reminded her in a matter of fact way to call him the right name."

He shared that although he's been trying to nudge his MIL into calling his son by the right name, he's been making his feelings known to his wife.

"All throughout, I've told the wife about my building annoyance," he explained. "We have a tacit agreement that we would handle our own families and she said she would talk to her mother about it. To be honest, I don't know when she did or how forceful she was, but clearly nothing had changed."

And what brings him to Reddit for advice? Well, his frustration over his MIL using the wrong name boiled over.

"Today, I blew up at my mother-in-law," OP explained. "I told her how disrespectful it was to me and Alex that she continued to call him by the wrong name. That I didn't want him to be confused about his actual name. That she should call him by his real name or not come by anymore."

His MIL didn't say a whole lot but felt she was overstaying her welcome. "I think she said something about how she's just been trying to help. She got her things, said bye to my wife, and left," OP explained.

"My wife thinks I'm overreacting. She says it's just a nickname — no different from 'buddy' or 'pal.' Now she's especially upset because there's more stuff for the two of us to do," he wrote. "She hasn't said outright said that I should apologize or anything, but I feel like she wants me to."

OP said he feels bad that he "put [his] wife in this situation given she's still recovering, and maybe it really wasn't that big a deal?"

"But I also don't feel bad making myself clear to someone who clearly is disregarding my wishes in my own house with my child," he wrote.

OP doesn't think he was in the wrong when it comes to his MIL but asked the community if he was to his wife "for not just sucking it up given all the help her mother has provided and might continue to provide?"

Reddit users shared their feelings and gave OP some advice, too.

"Nta, she's not respecting any of you," one Redditor shared. "You've asked her to not do that and she hasn't. She's doing it on purpose for her own reasons."

"The fact that MIL walked out when you stood up to her disrespectful and controlling behavior speaks volumes about why she agreed to help in the first place," someone else offered. "I don't think yelling was the best way to tell her your displeasure with her behavior, but you're allowed to feel angry and to display anger, especially after repeated requests for MIL to stop."

"I’m actually going against the grain with a light [everyone sucks here] and here’s why: You and your wife were on the same page pre-baby when it came to the name, you provided a united front to your MIL in announcing the actual name," another Reddit user wrote.

"Where you started to take on some of the ah of my verdict was when you didn’t immediately correct your MIL the first time," the person continued. "You can’t ignore her the first 'two dozen times' before bringing it up to her. No wonder her and your wife didn’t take it well when you lost your temper … you allowed it initially and now you’re starting a conflict. This issue is on you for not communicating your issue with this from the onset."