We all probably remember the lyrics to the Golden Girls theme song, right? It starts with, "Thank you for being a friend." It's a lovely sentiment that many of us feel about those who stay with us through the good and bad times. But is it possible to be too good of a friend? Like are there lines that we shouldn't cross when it comes to our friends, particularly their kids?
There's an old adage, "It takes a village." And while that may be true, some things should probably be off-limits to the other villagers. Well, at least without consent. We're not talking about carpooling or babysitting now and then. We mean way more intimate stuff, like breastfeeding a friend's baby … without her permission! A TikToker from Malaysia shared her outrage about catching her friend breastfeeding her infant son not once, but twice.
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The mom couldn't believe what she was seeing.
Breastfeeding is an intimate thing that nursing moms take seriously. It is bonding between mom and baby while providing essential nutrients. TikToker @afieqahhasanah was shocked when she turned her back and her friend allegedly began breastfeeding her son, Haider. The New York Post reported, via Asia One, that the incident occurred earlier this month at a family gathering.
The mom was busy with the party, and when her friend offered to give her a hand, she gladly accepted. She described the incident in detail in a viral TikTok that has amassed 3 million views.
"I was busy carrying things, and when I arrived, she asked me for Haider, so I just gave him [to her] because she was someone close to me," the TikToker said.
What happened next was a shock.
The mom kept on with her party prepping while her friend held Haider. She left the room but returned when she realized she had forgotten something. When she walked in on her friend nursing Haider, she couldn't believe it. The friend said she did it because the child was hungry, but that wasn't enough reason for the mom. The unexpected breastfeeding felt like a betrayal.
"I couldn't accept her excuse and I don't know … I'll be haunted by this incident," she said in the video. "What mother can accept her baby being directly breastfed by someone else while the mother herself has breast milk?"
Guess what? The friend breastfed Haider more than once.
According to the miffed mom, her mom, Haider's grandmother, allegedly caught the woman acting as a wet nurse to the baby again later that day, even after being asked not to.
The TikToker admitted she had a "tough time shaking it off my mind." Many of us would probably find that difficult, too. There is just so much to digest.
Not only is it crossing boundaries, but it could also be dangerous.
The mom says she is concerned about her baby's safety. "It's difficult for me to trust other people now," she lamented. "I take good care of my children, ensuring that nobody randomly kiss or hug them because I'm afraid of them getting infected by diseases."
According to New York Post, The American Academy of Pediatrics discourages breastfeeding other people's babies as there is a risk of transmitting disease.
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But some people think it's OK.
There are definitely stories about mothers who nurse other people's babies or allow them to nurse theirs. It is not the most common practice, but it works for some families.
Mom Destiny Reynolds shared her experience in a Facebook post.
"I was probably the only 19 year old in the 21st century that breastfed somebody else child for almost a year while feeding my own," she shared. "That is one of the most genuine things I've ever done. Because her baby didn't drink formula and I was baby sitting and her baby would cry all day."
"She came to pick her up and I was breastfeeding my 2 year old. And she's like that's why she been crying you can feed her too if want so I did cause you not about to be hollering all day over here mama. (Only downside to feeding someone else's child you get attached to them)," she wrote.
It really is up to the individual mother. If you are OK with it, just be sure to check with a doctor first; always better to be safe than sorry. But for all things good in this world, don't ever take it upon yourself to nurse someone else's baby without their permission. Because no, just no.
*Disclaimer: The advice on CafeMom.com is not a substitute for consultation with a medical professional or treatment for a specific condition. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem without consulting a qualified professional. Please contact your health-care provider with questions and concerns.
