Sibling spats can happen, regardless of age. In adulthood, however, parents can’t force squabbling brothers or sisters to apologize. Two siblings recently got into it when a Reddit user told her sister that her IVF child is not a “real baby” after they got into an argument over the original poster’s lab-grown diamond engagement ring.
The newly engaged woman (26) took to the AITA subreddit to vent about the heated exchange she had with her older sister (31). It all started with voicing opinions on what is considered a “real” diamond. It quickly devolved when the original poster, or OP, made a bold analogy.
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On January 1, the Reddit user got engaged.
The OP explained in her Reddit thread that she and her fiancé got engaged on New Year’s Day. She was “very excited” to share the news with her family and sent a photo of her engagement ring to her family group chat. Additionally, she posted a photo on social media.
“My diamond is a lab grown diamond that is just under 5ct,” the OP explained, noting that’s what she requested because she believes they’re “more ethical.”
Her sister’s ‘mood changed’ when she saw the lab-grown diamond.
“My sister (31F) was very excited for me but as soon as I showed her my ring her mood changed,” the OP continued. “And she was telling me that it was too flashy and that it’s not practical and that it’s too trendy and ‘not timeless.’”
Evidently, the sister told her there was “no way that my fiance could afford my ring” and that she should have it tested to see if it was real. The OP acknowledged that lab-grown diamonds are cheaper.
“She then proceeded to tell me how lab diamonds aren’t real diamonds and since they’re made in a lab it doesn’t hold the same sentimental value,” the OP noted.
Meanwhile, the sister reportedly has a “beautiful” 1-carat diamond that “suits her.”
When the sister wouldn’t let it go, the OP said her IVF child was not a ‘real baby.’
Although the newly engaged sister “tried to laugh it off,” her sibling “started yelling” that it “wasn’t even real diamond in the first place and that it was grown in a lab not the ground.”
The OP recounted, “That’s when [I] said by her logic, my niece wasn’t a real baby then because she was an IVF baby and grown in a lab too.”
She explained that her sister and husband had a difficult time conceiving. She noted their IVF journey was “really tough” and they went through multiple rounds before welcoming a baby girl last year.
“I know my sister had a hard time conceiving, that was kind of the point I was making,” the OP wrote. “My niece started in a lab but she has beautiful meaning behind her life too.”
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The sister cried, and now the OP wonders if she was being a jerk.
Unsurprisingly, the “not a real baby” comment resulted in the sister crying over the phone.
“Her husband then called me and berated me and told me I was insensitive and couldn’t understand the depths of her emotional turmoil,” she noted. “I have endometriosis too. My mom says it’s not a big deal but I should let my sister cool off. I usually babysit my niece pretty often but my sister hasn’t been answering my calls for a week.”
Although the OP’s husband understands the intention behind her comment, he admitted she probably shouldn’t have said it. So, was she an a–hole?
In the comments, Reddit users were divided.
Fellow Redditors couldn’t agree on whether the OP was the a–hole, or TA, in this situation.
One person thought everyone was a jerk, writing, “Sister is TA for being so transparently jealous. And you are absolutely TA, for using your sister’s conception issues to try and score points in a sibling argument.”
The person added, “Oh, and your Mum is also TA for thinking that isn’t a big deal. I feel sorry for your Dad, I truly do.”
Another commenter pointed out, “NTA – you didn’t really tell your sister that her baby is not a real baby, you used the comparison as a way to show her how idiotic her arguments were. And you are right.”
Someone else agreed, writing, “I find your answer spot on. Your sister is jealous and doesn’t [want] you to have nice things, that’s not behavior I’d want to surround myself with. She’ll come around when she needs you for childcare.”
Meanwhile, yet another person shared, “Your sister was being an absolute jealous a–hole, but you didn’t have to keep entertaining the conversation and drag a child into it.”
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
