Blended families can be difficult to navigate. Whether it's after a death, a divorce, or when some of the children are too young to remember their prior family arrangement, feelings of resentment and "othering" often complicate the dynamics. When parents aren't truthful about biological relationships, things can get downright nasty.
Some parents may feel they are protecting their kids by withholding the identity of biological parents, or by not addressing the situation at all and allowing children to draw their own conclusions. Unfortunately, relationships can be permanently damaged when or if kids discover the truth for themselves. And that's exactly what a Reddit user has been dealing with in recent months.
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The Reddit user didn't learn his 'mom' was actually his stepmom until recently.
In a late August Reddit thread, a 17-year-old explained that he learned in March that his mom wasn't his biological mom but his stepmom. Additionally, he is not biologically related to his brother and sister.
"I was only 1 when my parents got married so I don't remember a time before and my biological mom doesn't want to know me which means I never grew up with two moms or anything," he explained. "I always assumed I was their bio kid. They basically said I was. I thought my siblings were blood siblings too. I knew they didn't call dad 'dad' so I figured half siblings. But still siblings."
The 17-year-old detailed how poorly his siblings treated him through the years, and he never understood why.
The OP shared that he was "so confused" about why his siblings "hated" him as they grew up.
"They would get so mad at me for talking to them or breathing near them. They used to fight to not sit next to me at dinner and fight over who'd sit next to me in the car," he detailed. "They'd say I wasn't their brother but never answered why. Only answer I'd get was I was pathetic and I was gross."
In the thread, the young man explained that he asked his parents, grandparents, and extended family why his siblings treated him so poorly. He also didn't understand why they "hated" his dad.
"It did a number on younger me," the OP admitted. "I still have some hang ups from wanting my 'siblings' to love me and being rejected every time and being treated like they would catch something from sitting next to me."
Recently, he found his birth certificate, and his parents confessed the truth.
The OP "started to question stuff" when he needed his birth certificate and his parents wanted to bring it to school for him.
"I searched it out and found it and saw dad's name but not mom's on there," he wrote. "I asked my parents. They admitted I was my mom's stepson and my siblings' stepbrother."
The stepsiblings evidently didn't like the situation or accept the OP and his dad as their family. So, the parents didn't tell the OP because they wanted him to love his stepsiblings "so it would soften their hearts and let them accept me as a brother."
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Now, his family is upset that he called them out for lying.
"My family didn't like me saying my parents had lied and being mad about it," the OP continued. "They think I'm being unfair."
He added, "But when they were over at our house a few days ago I kinda lost it and called them out for lying too and keeping the truth from me. I told them everyone left me in the dark and looking like an idiot about what my stepsiblings had meant. They said I expect too much from them."
Reddit users all agreed: He is NTA.
In the comments, fellow Reddit users agreed the OP was NTA in this case.
One person wrote: "So your entire family knew including your stepsiblings who treated you like crap your whole life. Wow, nta."
Another Redditor commented: "You been done dirty by your family. Shame on your parents for not looking out better for you by keeping your half siblings in line. Shame on them for not telling you and trying to keep the facts away from you." The commenter also encouraged him to speak with a therapist.
Meanwhile, someone else pointed out, "Considering how manipulative they were about hiding the truth, I suspect your mom might actually be looking for you. You will be 18 soon, so a DNA test can be done and you could see if your dad kept you from your mom. You might have biological grandparents out there or half siblings."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
