Surrogate Carrying Sister’s Baby Tired of Mom-To-Be Pretending She’s the Pregnant One

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A lot of people struggle with getting or staying pregnant. Infertility is a reality for a lot of couples who want to grow their families. Some options exist to bring a child into the mix, but each one comes with its own set of challenges. One option families choose is using a surrogate.

One hopeful mom turned to her sister, who agreed to act as a surrogate to bring her to motherhood. It's an incredible gift to be able to do that for someone. But it also comes with some stresses – and that surrogate went looking for advice.

Posting to Reddit's AITA community, a woman is acting as a surrogate for her sister – and it's not been smooth sailing.

"I (35F) am pregnant with my sisters (30F) child. My sister has some fertility issues and is not able to have a safe pregnancy," the original poster, or OP, shared. "I offered to carry the baby for her and her husband. I am now currently 6 1/2 months along and everything is going well."

Surrogacy is a wonderful option for hopeful parents who are battling infertility. But not being able to physically experience pregnancy isn't easy.

"Once we found out I was pregnant my sister made the decision to live like she herself is the one pregnant," OP explained. "I found it odd but I didn't see an issue with it. I understood that she is going through an emotional time. I mainly thought this was going to be something just between her and her husband. I was wrong and she has begun to act pregnant in her daily life."

It's sweet that her husband treats her as if she was pregnant, but OP is over it.

"At first it was just small things like having her husband run out to get food she was 'craving' but it developed into things like wearing maternity wear," OP wrote. "She also gets annoyed if I talk about my cravings or pregnancy symptoms around her. These things don't bother me much and I just think my sister wants to feel involved."

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Then something happened while OP was out with her sister that caused an issue between the two.

"Today my sister wanted to go shopping to look at baby things since the stores have reopened in our area," OP explained. "The day started with her getting angry whenever sales staff would talk to me. I would explain to the salespeople that my sister is the mother whenever it was needed."

The two went to several stores before landing at the one where her sister wanted to make her baby registry. "By this point I was extremely tired and wanted to go home. I had told my sister this and she promised this would be the last store," OP shared.

At six-and-a-half months pregnant, OP didn't have much energy left.

"I must have looked exhausted because as we were waiting the salesperson brought over a chair for me to sit while the registry paperwork was done," OP said. "When she brought it over she did say something like 'Here's a chair for Mom.' I didn't correct the salesperson this time and just sat down," she recalled.

Her sister heard this and told pregnant OP to get off the chair. "My sister told me to get up and give her the chair after I had sat down. I asked her why and tried explaining that I was tired," OP shared.

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"My sister berated me by saying the sales person said the chair was for the mom and that she was supposed to sit. She said that this was her registry appointment and how dare I act like this was all about me," OP wrote.

"She said she was the one who was the expectant mother and that she needed to sit down now," clearly not caring that her sister, who was carrying her baby, was tired.

OP tried to smooth things over and reassure her sister.

"I told my sister that yes she is going to be the mother but I am the one that is currently pregnant. I snapped at her that she is not actually pregnant and does not get how exhausting it can be," OP admitted.

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"I told her I am trying my best to appease her but she is being ridiculous."

This response made her sister cry "saying that I was shaming her for not being able to get pregnant and that I was making fun of her."

That doesn't sound like her intention at all.

"I tried to defend myself and tell her that is not what I meant. She wouldn't listen and ran out of the store. Everyone in the store was staring at us. They were looking at me like I was a complete monster after hearing what my sister said."

OP spoke to her mom about it and she agreed that she 'should have just let my sister have the seat.'

The frustrated surrogate turned it over to Reddit. She wanted to know if she was in the wrong when she didn't want to give her sister the chair.

"NTA at all, but it sounds like your sister may need therapy," one Redditor advised.

"It gives me The Handmaid's Tale vibes," someone else pointed out. "When a handmaid gives birth, the woman who will raise the baby pretends to be in labor and gets all the attention. And that's a horrifying dystopian story."

"I'm speaking as someone who has been through massive fertility issues. Primary and secondary infertility. Miscarriages. I think your sister desperately needs help," a concerned person wrote. "There is no shame in it. I got help too. She needs to mourn not being able to carry a child. I worry that she will want you to carry on and let the baby think she was the one pregnant. She is using third party reproduction, which is totally fine, but problems arise when she doesn't come to terms with that."

The person continued, "When you are in the delivery room is she going to be upset because of all the attention on you? She also needs to have people stop enabling her behavior like your mom. It's one thing to not drink, or eat lunch meat to be in solidarity with you. It's a whole other thing to not let the woman carrying her child get off her feet."