If you're pregnant, you will no doubt be showered with congratulations, some of which may arrive in the form of funny greeting cards… at least, they're "funny" from the sender's point of view. Just be warned: the things that compel your childless friends into hysterics — the horrific pain of childbirth, the fact that they can get drunk and you can't — may not be for the faint of heart.
Just so you're prepared for the unwise wisecracks that may be slung your way, here are a few of the more offensive pregnancy congratulations cards on the market. We hope your friends are smart enough to steer clear, or that your sense of humor is more generous than the size of your belly.
Colorful language alert on #3! How would you react if you got a card like that?
Image via Etsy
Congrats and Goodbye
Well, at least now you know who to strike off the babysitting list.
Depressing!
A double-whammy knock on your weight and your mental health: with friends like these, who needs enemies?
Hey, Who?
Ah, maybe this is where that whole whore/Madonna thing comes into play? No?
Mood Killer
And guess who just plunged you deep into a horrible mood? It's not the hormones making you cry …
More from The Stir: 10 LOL-Inducing Pregnancy Congratulations Cards (PHOTOS)
Good News For Your...Liver
Who doesn't love being called an alcoholic?
We'll Drink, You Drive!
Because after all, isn't it every pregnant woman's dream to be driving around while their best friend hangs out the window of the car flashing her boobies at the guys in the next lane at the stoplight?
Ouch
I mean, every pregnant woman has certainly heard this, but do we need the reminder?
Your Friendship Will Never Be the Same, Either
You're having a baby, and all your friend can talk about is how your, er, exit route will suffer. As if you weren't worried enough!
More from The Stir: 17 Incredibly Offensive Maternity Shirts
Hide This From Hubby
Because who knows if your husband will get it's a joke?
Er, Thanks for the Tip
Because the reason you're pregnant is because you give lousy blow jobs.
Um, Thanks?
Hel-lo, the big news is your baby, not your bust size!
More Unsolicited Bedroom Advice
Another word: gross.
More from The Stir: 15 Incredibly Offensive Shirts for Dads
