Being pregnant is a huge responsibility for any woman. Just imagine, almost out of nowhere, being tasked with carrying and caring for a whole new human. Naturally, first-time moms feel the need to read everything ever written about pregnancy and childbirth. They binge on all the latest trends and, as a result, become a nervous wreck. With all the information available, it’s a constant avalanche of seemingly ever-changing facts. The constant question that is ever-present: am I doing the right thing?
Paranoia is a constant companion. As such, many moms are vulnerable and open to advice on how to maneuver pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting. Insecurities are inevitable. Having a village to lean on proves invaluable.
But asking the village means getting a ton of advice and not all of it is sound. What exactly are the science-backed notions and which are old wives' tales? Even worse, who does one listen to, the OB/GYN with 20 years in practice or the mom who has given birth four times? As obvious a choice as it may seem to the perfectly rational person, it’s a different kettle of fish when raised to believe that mom always knows best.
The truth is, sometimes calling on the village for help isn't the best idea. New moms get a lot of solicited and unsolicited advice, and some of both are totally wild. The things people believe about pregnancy to this day that defy logic and science are astounding.
Since hindsight is 20/20, we asked a few moms to share some of the weirdest and wildest advice they ever received while they were pregnant, and boy is some of it a doozy. Check out some of our favorite responses from these anonymous mamas who truly heard it all during their pregnancies. To all the newly pregnant mamas seeking advice, we can confidently say don't listen to any of this!
RAISING HANDS
"Don’t raise your hands; the umbilical cord will wrap around the baby’s neck."
Hearing that, a mom will spend the entire pregnancy scared. God forbid if she's a student — class participation is over!
STAY INSIDE
"Don’t leave the house until nine days after childbirth. You’ll get ‘baby cold.'”
What is baby cold? No one really knows. So, they want to confine you to your house for nine days for no apparent reason.
DON'T SCRATCH
"When you have a craving, don’t scratch or the baby will get an ugly birthmark."
We literally have no idea what this person is talking about. Like at all.
HOLDING YOUR BREATH
"Don’t hold your breath; you’ll spoil the baby."
Spoil the baby as in they can go bad and expire? Can babies go rotten? What planet am I on?
NO SEX
"No sex during pregnancy. You’ll bruise the baby’s head."
This is anatomically impossible y'all. And sex during pregnancy is entirely safe and, toward the end, can be very helpful in stimulating labor.
NO BREASTFEEDING
"Breastfeeding is the reason the baby’s stomach is upset."
Well, there's one piece of advice moms don't hear much. That would mean than breast milk has an expiration date and some of us are serving spoilt milk.
FAT BABY
"Baby's too fat. Put her on a diet."
First of all, no one should be commenting on any baby's size, period. Second of all, diets are barely safe for adults. Why would you even put a kid on one?
DON'T EAT PINEAPPLE
"Don’t eat too much pineapple. It will turn the amniotic fluid acidic."
Sometimes I worry people do not have a basic understanding of biology.
USE CLOTH DIAPERS
"Babies must wear cloth diapers to keep their backs strong."
My response would have been "Cool. Are you coming over to wash them for me then?"
BIZARRE HICCUP SOLUTION
"Place a matchstick in baby’s hair to stop hiccups."
I'm at a loss for words on this one.
EATIN SPICY FOODS
"Don’t eat spicy foods; baby’s eyes will constantly tear up."
With this logic, that’s the explanation for all those teary-eyed babies across the globe.
FEEL THE BURN
"Heartburn while pregnant means the baby will be born with lots of hair."
This is an old, old wives' tale! How many of us moms would gladly take a bald baby to escape indigestion and heartburn while pregnant?
TICKLING BABY'S FEET
"Don’t tickle baby’s feet or the baby will stutter."
One has to wonder where people come up with these scientific gems.
EVIL SPIRITS
"Open Bible over baby’s head while sleeping. This will protect against evil."
I suppose to cover all bases, we should throw in all other religion’s holy books and insignia?
PREMATURE BIRTH
"Exercise will cause premature birth."
Women should always get their doctor’s advice before engaging in exercising when pregnant, but not all exercise is bad.
FLUID RETENTION
"Too much fluid will cause retention in baby’s head."
We’re already dealing with swollen ankles. Can you imagine worrying about swelling our baby’s head?
SWIMMING
"Don’t go swimming. Baby will drown."
We just have one question: Not even the back stroke?
CROSSING YOUR LEGS
"Don’t cross your legs; this will cause the umbilical cord to wrap around the baby’s head."
Sometimes I wonder if people even really know where the umbilical cord actually is.
LOOKING AT SOMEONE WITH DISABILITIES
"Don’t look at a person with disabilities and swallow or baby will be born disabled."
Not sure whether to place this under the ignorance column or the unkind column.
RED CLOTHES
"Dress baby in red. This will protect baby from evil spirits."
So do I still need the Bible or…?
