On November 20, 2018, one of my biggest fears became reality. My dog attacked my daughter.
He didn’t give her a warning shot, he didn’t just bite her once, he ATTACKED her. He knocked her down, climbed on top of her and bit and scratched her face repeatedly. I scared him and waited for him to let go before pulling him off of her so I wouldn’t cause him to rip her skin off when I pulled him off of her.
It happened in seconds.
I was in our bathroom packing for our trip and Delilah was playing in our room, running back and forth from the kitchen. I saw her leave the room so I followed to make sure she was within eyesight but within seconds, I heard growling and screaming. I don’t know what happened, if she scared him and he reacted or if he just wanted to hurt her.
Either way, he lost all domestication and became a savage, attacking her and going for blood.
More from CafeMom: Pit Bull Puppy Chewed Off Baby’s Fingers While Mom Was in the Shower
Had I not been there, he probably would have killed her.
He has shown signs of aggression in the past, even bitten several people, so I was very anxious all throughout my pregnancy about him hurting her but he always just ignored her. He never really growled at her or got aggressive until about two weeks ago when she tried to take a toy from him and he snapped at her. I should have been more careful after that.
I should have somehow expected this could happen, protected her better.
She’s doing okay now. All her wounds are superficial and she’s healing well and in good spirits. But I can’t calm down, I can’t find my center. I keep picturing it in my head, him on top of her and all the blood. It’s awful.
Every time I see her face I’m reminded that I should have never let this happen, the dog should have been locked up. I know accidents happen but I feel like I should have foreseen this and done a better job of preventing it. I just never in a million years expected this to happen.
So yes, I am blaming myself. I feel like s--- and it’s just going take me time to be able to accept all this.
I know I’m not a bad mother, I know this could happen to anyone … but right now I feel like I failed her and I just need time to work through these emotions.
My dachshund was the one that attacked her and the other dog has growled at Delilah several times in the past.
We will be surrendering both of the dogs to the humane society because they are a no-kill shelter.
I can’t even look at them. I want them out of my house but I still want what’s best for them and I know they will find a home and be loved. I don’t want to take any chances. I can’t live in a home where I’m constantly afraid the dogs will attack her and it’s not fair to them to be locked up all day and night.
But all I want to do is curl up in a ball, cry and feel sorry for us.
Sorry for her suffering, for my anxiety and for my husband and his burden of caring for us both. I can’t wait for all of this to be over.
For her face to heal and her synovitis to go away so she can have at least a week of peace before her surgery. This child is so strong, so resilient … but watching her go through this is breaking my heart and I don’t know how much more of it I can bear.
My heart goes out to all the mothers of children with chronic illnesses and diseases.
I honestly don’t know how you find the strength to continue pushing forward and not breaking down into tears at the end of every day. You are seriously the strongest breed of woman, a force to be reckoned with and an inspiration to us all.
Please remember to keep babies and dogs separate because you really never know what can happen.
I’m definitely holding her a little tighter today because more than ever, I’m truly thankful for her life.
Sometimes motherhood can be completely enervating. You give everything you can, you pour all of yourself into your child and are left to feel like a broken, exhausted mess. Right now, I feel like a shell of myself. I’m exhausted but I can’t sleep, hungry but I can’t eat and scatterbrained as h—. I literally can’t focus on a single task, and I’m finding it difficult to put on a brave face for her. I do it because I have to; I find the strength deep (really f—ing deep) down and I use it to push forward and make her as comfortable as I can.
This since-deleted post was written by Nat of @natthenaturalmom and reprinted with permission.
