Judging other women for how they give birth is the worst kind of mommy-shaming. But apparently for one woman, a friend of hers didn't seem get that memo. The new mom share on Mumsnet just how low someone went when she recently told her that she hadn't "given birth properly" and that she only *thought* she knew what it was like to give birth, because she had had a C-section instead of a vaginal delivery.
According to the mom, she recently met up with a friend who felt that she had only "done the easy bit" by having a C-section.
In her post, the mom of a 5-month-old boy wrote that for the most part, she doesn't even like to talk about her birth experience. But when she met up with some friends, they asked her about it and so she decided to tell her story. "I briefly told them (induction, back to back labor until fully dilated, pushing with episiotomy and forceps, [emergency C-section])," she wrote.
This should have been the end of the story, but apparently this mom hadn't earned enough street credit for her friend, who then told her that she didn't really understand what it was like to give birth.
"So you’ve come away from that thinking that you know what it’s like to have a baby," her friend told her. Confused, the mom asked her what she meant by that comment. To which her friend rudely told her "‘You’ve not given birth properly, you’ve not been in transition, you’ve only done the easy bit. So many women think they’ve given birth but they have no idea."
Unsure of how to respond, the mom just changed the subject instead of pressing the issue. But the whole thing has left a bad taste in her mouth.
She even asked her other friend who was with them if she felt the same way about her C-section."She didn’t agree but didn’t necessarily disagree; she said that a section is the easy option but if your body can’t give birth properly then it’s not your fault." Oh, brother.
Now the mom is angry at both of her friends for trying to tell her that she hadn't really given birth. "Am I being unreasonable that this is not how normal people view childbirth?" she asked.
Most people were in agreement: this was totally rude and not okay for one friend to say to another.
One person commented that this was a "horrible" thing to say to any mother.
Another person told her to ignore her friend, "she's an idiot."
Someone else wrote that nothing about the mom's labor sounded "easy."
Although natural, vaginal births seem to be prized in some circles, there is absolutely ZERO shame for giving birth another way. What matters is that both mom and baby make it out of the delivery healthy and safe. So forget what this straight-up hater tells you, Mama. You've absolutely given birth and should be proud of yourself!
