Sure, we all dream of moving to the perfect little beach town or packing up and heading to the big city (if that's your thing), but for most of us it isn't realistic because of real-life obligations tying us to our current location. This was exactly the point that one mom was trying to make to her new husband who is determined that they move — even though her custody agreement with her ex specifically states that she can't leave the state. Now he's threatening to leave without her, but is she wrong if she doesn't want to go?
No matter what she says, the woman wrote that her husband refuses to listen and is set on moving them out of state.
Sadly for the writer, her husband doesn't have many reasons to justify why he needs to stay and his step kids don't seem to be reason enough. "He keeps telling me 'I’m out of this state the first chance I get. I hate it here,'” she wrote in a post on Reddit.
But legally the mom is tied to her kids where they currently live. "I have two kids from a previous marriage. The dad has equal parenting time. While I’m sure it’s possible to have a court battle over it, what kind of mom takes her kids away from their dad for no good reason?" she explained.
Not to mention that she was clear with her husband when they got married that she would need to stay put until her kids graduate high school.
"I feel I’m justified in distancing myself and not engaging in too much conversation with him, as it always turns into some argument about taking the kids away from their dad and me not doing what he wants," she continued. "I’m hurt that he’s looking for jobs whether I can go with him or not."
She later clarified that her kids "are 8 years old and 10 years old. (I've been) married for two years."
"We have done counseling with multiple different counselors. The fact that I love my kids and have them as a priority makes him think I’m a raging (expletive). So, counseling is no longer a thing. I do go alone now," she added in an update.
"His reasons for wanting to move are valid … if you don’t marry a woman with kids," she continued. "I understand his perspective and feelings, but the agreement was after the kids grew up."
But in the end, the mom was clear on her boundaries. "I would never take the kids from their dad. For their sake and his," she wrote.
So is she wrong for not wanting to tear her family apart?
People online were seriously upset over how selfish this husband is being.
"If your husband really loved you and cared about his stepchildren, he would accept that living in the state you're in now is what's best for everyone else. What a selfish POS," one person wrote in the comments.
But someone else had a guess that there was something else going on. "My guess is he might want to get a divorce and is trying to create a situation where she asks for it so that he doesn't have to," this user commented. "Unilaterally deciding it's time to move to a different state when he knows she can't legally do that without uprooting her kids' lives? Doesn't sound like this dude sees himself as part of a team anymore, if he ever did."
And the mom later wrote that she hadn't thought of that before, but now she was starting to worry. 'I’ve considered that. Does it really sound like that?" she asked. "He constantly tells me how horrible I am, and how horrible my kids are, yet he doesn’t divorce me haha. Maybe he really is trying to get me to do it. :("
"Your husband seems incredibly selfish. However I also feel like this story is missing something, why does your husband want to move so badly if he already has a job and a life where you are?" another person asked.
Though the Original Poster responded that her husband told her that "he doesn’t like all the people. He doesn’t like the governor. He doesn’t like his job, even though it pays a lot. He has no GOOD reason to leave. He thinks people will be better somewhere else … that life will be totally different somewhere else. It truly make no sense to me. I must be missing something," she wrote.
Another person thought her husband was trying to control her. "That is emotional and verbal abuse and almost seems like he's trying to isolate you and your children," the commenter wrote. "Your kids needs come first, and I don't think moving them away from their dad is the right move, and if you don't either, be their voice."
In the end, the mom decided to stay firm in her decision to keep her kids close to their dad.
In an update to the post, the mom wrote that her husband has come up crazy plans for the two of them to be able to work out her custody arrangement, but in her heart she knows his ideas are unrealistic.
"To say my heart is broken is an understatement," she wrote. "I thought I was signing up for a partner that would stick by my side. But he doesn’t seem to think I’m worth staying here for. Here’s to hoping he changes his mind."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
