Parents have a right to make their own rules about how (and when) their new baby will be welcomed into the world. That goes for how they choose to deliver, who will be there when it happens, and how soon Mom and Dad will allow visitors at their home. Such was the case when one mom-to-be on Reddit tried to explain to her own mother that she wasn't allowed in the delivery room. Even more difficult to convey was that the new parents wanted zero guests to meet their new baby for two weeks following the little guy's birth. Let's just say, Grandma wasn't taking no for an answer.
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In her post, the anonymous mom-to-be explained that her mother was having a hard time agreeing to stay out of the delivery room.
The pregnant mama, who was 35 weeks pregnant at the time, explained that she and her husband had already decided not to have visitors when she's induced at the end of the month.
"My husband is taking two-weeks paternity leave so we can get to know our daughter and get into a routine," she continued. "This is what works best for us. We are very private people and it’s our first (and most likely, last) baby."
But her mom didn't quite understand the situation.
"My mother said her plan was to come the day of the induction to be there at the delivery, stay for a few days and then fly back to 'give us our two-weeks alone,'" she recalled. "Um … no. That isn’t giving us our two-weeks alone."
It was at this point that the poster put her foot down and told her mother no one would be allowed in the delivery room — also, she could come to visit after the two weeks were up, just like everyone else.
But as you might have suspected, that didn't go over too well with Grandma.
"She flipped out," the poster continued. "She said I was horrible, so selfish and entitled. I was taking away the moment she should have with HER granddaughter."
The anonymous Redditor told her mother that there were reasons she'd rather not have her in the delivery room — starting with the fact that she was sure she would disagree with the doctor.
"She denied ever disagreeing with anything, so I named everything she ever argued with me about: me being induced, my epidural, breastfeeding/formula, co-sleeping, C-section rates, the list goes on," she continued. "She has had an opinion about everything and it’s always, always outdated information or old wives tales type [expletive]."
And that's when her mother tried a different tactic to get into the delivery room.
"She said she needed to be there in case of an emergency to 'help make important medical decisions' and it took everything for me not to laugh," she wrote. "She is the last person I would want to make medical decisions and I could just see her arguing with my very capable husband and doctor. Absolutely no way in h—."
The soon-to-be grandma then told the mom she hopes that she'll get 'payback' one day from her own kids.
Yikes.
The mom-to-be is unbothered by that little barb, though.
"I would totally understand if my kid did that," she wrote, adding that she had zero regrets for having a super private wedding and knew that she would have zero regrets about keeping her delivery between herself and her husband.
The poster continued on to say that she and her mother have had a somewhat rocky relationship in the past, but she understands now that things work better if they maintain some boundaries.
"I told her that it wasn’t personal, I was not trying to hurt anyone, but we are firm with our decisions," she explained. "Her response was 'If you and [husband] want to be alone, [then] fine, you’ll be alone! If I can’t come to the delivery than I’m not coming at all! You can’t delegate when people can come see the baby. It doesn’t work that way!'"
"Actually, it does work that way," she continued. "I told her I was sorry she felt that way, and we would see her when we see her.
"I don’t need the stress," she wrote. "I have had an extremely rough pregnancy and this stuff does not help at all. If all of this makes me a horrible, selfish person, [then] I guess that is exactly what I am. But I’m not budging."
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In the comments, people applauded this mama for sticking to her guns.
It's hard to say no to a loved one, but most commenters agreed that this mom had made the right choice.
"You aren't being selfish, you're setting your family's boundaries," one commenter wrote. "I wish you a shiny spine, as well as an easy, uncomplicated delivery (for both of us, as I'm actually about at the same point myself!)."
"Your mom is crazy," wrote someone else. "You set the rules, she either follows them or stays home."
"Has she considered that perhaps SHE is selfish, and that SHE needs to get over HERSELF?" a third person chimed in. "No more explaining to mom. Don't give her anything to argue with. Just 'NO.' Cut conversations short if needed. She can play by your rules, or she can't play at all. Sorry your mom sucks."
At least one person thought the mom-to-be was making a mistake, though.
"I enjoyed having my mum and MIL around when I had my babies," the woman wrote. "An extra set of hands to hold the baby was welcomed by my husband and me … my advice is not to shut family out in those first couple of weeks."
But despite both sides of the argument, the poster later wrote that she was standing firm in her decision. She wrote that her mom later sent her a text trying to make peace.
It read: “I hope everything went well with your last sonogram. I love you, but I just can’t argue with you anymore … I hope you feel better today, and have a good day," she shared.
"This is annoying to me because I don’t want to argue either," the mom admitted. "I need her to stop arguing and respect my decisions and boundaries. But I have learned that you can’t reason with the unreasonable."
Here's hoping the poster had a relatively easy delivery — and things went smoother after her baby finally arrived.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
