Trying to find the perfect baby name can be fun but it's also a source some stress for some parents-to-be. Some people like names that are unusual and uncommon, whereas others look to family for inspiration. Some families have no name picked out before the baby is born, and others know the name of their child before they’re even pregnant. It’s such a personal thing, and once a name is chosen, it’s pretty much set in stone. This is especially true if the name is designed to honor a loved family member.
One woman had her baby name choice all figured out before she was even expecting — until her best friend took the name for her child. She got upset and brought it to the Reddit AITA subreddit to ask if she’s in the wrong.
More from CafeMom: Dad Begs Wife To Change 3-Week-Old’s Name Because His Mom Still Can’t Pronounce It
A woman took to Reddit to share her frustrations over a baby name dispute with her best friend.
She wrote, "I was good friends with a girl for about 5 years from 19 to 24. I had told her before that I would name my son X, after my father."
The OP shared that her friend got pregnant when they were 24 years old, and she did all she could to be supportive. "I was a supportive friend, went to the baby shower, brought chocolate ice cream at 11 p.m., made myself available for anything she needed."
The two didn’t talk much about what name the baby would have, and OP asked her friend about a week before she was due to give birth.
Her friend told her "she had a name in mind but was not telling people yet. This did not bother me as lots of people keep it a secret, so I left the matter alone." A week later, her good friend had her baby, and when OP read the announcement on Facebook, she got really upset.
Her friend named her baby the unique name she had chosen for her future baby — the same name as her dad.
"The next week, her baby's birth announcement is on Facebook," the Redditor wrote. "You guessed it, she used my dad's name. My heart stopped when I read the announcement. I knew that she knew I would object to the name, because I wanted it, thus why she didn’t tell me at the time."
She was upset and wrote, "I have not talked to her since. I didn’t like her baby pics on FB and now he is like 4 and we haven’t talked at all. She reached out to me two times but I never responded. I can’t believe the audacity of using a name she knew was near and dear to my heart, and couldn’t even get the courage to tell me."
More from CafeMom: MIL Secretly Gets Newborn's Name Changed While Mom Is Recovering From Her C-Section
The OP asked the community if she was in the wrong.
The community chimed in with mixed thoughts on the situation. One person wrote, "NTA. The name has special meaning to you, and she took it without mentioning it in the hopes that you wouldn’t kick up a stink once the baby was born." The person said that her friend "deliberately" hiding she was going to use the name OP had chosen is what made her friend the one wrong in this situation.
Another chimed in and said, "You don’t own the name BUT, She knew it had sentimental value to you, and she lied to you and hid it clearly hurting you more while you were there for her the whole pregnancy." Adding, "You are within your right to be upset and you are not an a–hole for wanting to cut someone that showed they didn’t care about your feelings enough to tell you, even after you told her about the baby name before she was pregnant."
Another person added some perspective, saying no one owns a baby name, but that’s not all that happened here. "Out of an infinite number of names in the world, she chose the only one that she knew would be hurtful to a good friend," the comment read. "And, knowing you’d be hurt, decided not to tell you or talk about it with you directly."
"That isn’t something a real friend does," the person added. "That’s something a selfish person mainly concerned about getting what they want does. Yes, she was allowed to choose any name, and nobody can 'claim' baby names. But, she didn’t have to choose that specific one and then be evasive about it."
Not everyone agreed with cutting off the friend over a baby’s name, though.
"And you can’t now have it because … ?" a person commented, adding "just because she likes the name it doesn’t negate your connection to it. i understand being a little shocked, but cutting a friend off entirely seems a little harsh imo. it doesn’t steal anything from you, there’s no roster saying only so many people can have a specific name."
Another person chimed in and wrote that both were in the wrong. "She sucks because she knew you wanted that name and purposely kept it from you because she knew you’d be against it. You suck because you gave up what seems to be a great friendship. You can still name your future son that and tell people the meaning behind it. Let people know it’s your father’s name and it’s meaningful to you. Don’t let her stop you from using the name. She used it because she likes it. You can use it because it has real meaning to you."
Baby names are so personal, and it’s a shame it got in the way of a friendship, but communication is critical, and it seemed to break down in this situation.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
