Husband Thinks Mom’s Baby Name Choice is ‘Abuse’ but She Refuses To Back Down

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Everyone knows that kids can be cruel sometimes, and some of us remember that one kid in class who got stuck with an unfortunate family name that lead to allllll kinds of teasing. Many parents choose names specifically to avoid potential name teasing (not a lot of babies named "Richard" or "Randy" these days). But despite the threat of some major teasing in her unborn son's future (and her husband's reluctance to use it), one mom-to-be on Reddit is determined to saddle him with the same name men in her family have been using for centuries.

That sounds sweet and not that controversial until she dropped the name: Gaylord. The comments section went nuts over the mom's decision, but she's holding strong that this should be her baby's name. Since we love a mess, let's get into the name drama!

The first-time mama was due with her son a few years ago.

It was to be the first grandchild on her side of the family, which means his name will have to hold a special meaning.

"In my family, our genealogy is extremely important," she wrote on a since deleted post on Am I The Ass—-. "The firstborn son since the 1800s has been given this name."

Drumroll, please …

"The name is Gaylord."

The poster wrote that she's 'well aware' that the name carries a stigma.

So, she's decided that her son will go by Gail in school and with his friends "so that he doesn't have to deal with bullies." 

At first, her family didn't love the idea of the nickname; they wanted to keep things traditional, but the OP "wore them down and they have agreed and don't seem too offended by this."

"They see the backlash over the name today as a fad that will eventually disappear, and I agree seeing how accepting each generation tends to become," she continued. "When society stops being so immature about it, he can start using the full name."

She even convinced her husband of the nickname, and he was on board with it at the time.

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She told him that they would only put Gaylord on the birth certificate "and asked him if he was on board for naming our first son Gail."

"I remember, he kind of chuckled and said, 'Sure,' and that was the end of it," she recalled. "I thought it was settled."

But he changed his tune, saying that he never agreed to the name and thought his wife was kidding.

Since telling her in-laws about their grandson's possible moniker, things went from bad to worse.

Her husband straight up wouldn't even talk about the name with her anymore, and his family is putting the pressure on her to pick another name.

"I now have his whole family hounding me and overreacting, telling me it would be abusive even when we'd just be calling him Gail," she added. "My mother told me my MIL has called her to scream at her over the phone."

Her in-laws told her that she needs to "'get with the times 'and choose something more appropriate.'" They even sent over a list of approved names — "which is incredibly offensive to me."

"Not to mention they were trendy names that would never stand the test of time," she added.

The mom was stuck.

Her husband's family was completely against the name, but the mom believed they just don't understand the pressure to uphold tradition.

"How could I be expected to break a centuries old family tradition?" she wondered. "Are we really going to let immature homophobia dictate what we can and can't do?"

People in the comments section were not convinced, despite it being a tradition.

"'Genealogy' is a stupid reason to keep naming someone something just because it's 'tradition,'" one commenter wrote. "It also really doesn't make sense for you to use that name for your son, as you're not a male, so it's not even following some kind of patrilineal line."

"While Gaylord might have been acceptable at some point in time, the name is usually used as a derogatory term these days and won't be recognized as anything else," a second person agreed. "OP, YTA if you name your kid this."

"Even if he goes by a different name, his legal name will be the one on roll call, driver’s license, etc," a third commenter pointed out. "Kids are going to find out, and he will resent his parents for his name."

Other people advised the mom to tell both sides of the family to butt out.

"You both are letting family into a decision that is really between you and your husband," one person wrote. "I think you should talk this out with your husband, and leave both sets of in-laws out of the discussion. You should both have an equal say in naming your child, and don’t be dismissive of one another."

"The in-laws are out of line giving you 'approved' names; that's ridiculous," a second person wrote in. "The name should be agreed upon between you and your husband."

The mom was not thrilled that no one in the comments was willing to back her up on the baby name.

In an update to her post, she wrote that she "wasn't expecting to wake up to such hostility" and argued that as long as she told the school to never reveal his full name and stick to the nickname, he should be fine.

"Gail really is a unisex name, but I see the spelling Gale is more masculine and would have no problem changing it to Gale," she wrote. She even ran the name by her parents — who were not thrilled with the break in tradition and were willing to settle on Gale Gaylord. 

"My husband can then add a second middle name after Gaylord if he wants," the OP wrote. "Grandpa is especially not impressed that it's being demoted to a middle name, but he did say he understands the pressure I'm facing here. So, I'm going to wait til my husband calms down and offer this as a solution."