Ironically, after you have a baby, you can experience extreme loneliness. It can be so overwhelming to balance the challenges of caring for a new life that you forget about your own needs. Being a mother isn’t just lonely when you have a baby either. Moms who have older children can also struggle with loneliness, especially if they are stay-at-home moms. This can become more obvious when kids go off to school or college.
It is important to remember you are not alone. Many moms feel like they’re on their own, but that's really not entirely the case. Here are some ways to fight being lonely as a mom:
Why Moms Feel Lonely
A study revealed 21.9% of women experience postpartum depression the year after giving birth. Life changes are known to cause loneliness, so becoming a mother is a valid reason to feel this way. It can be hard to connect with loved ones when recovering from having a baby and taking care of a new life.
Moms staying home may find they go days without talking to someone outside their immediate family. This can cause feelings of isolation since there may be no reason to leave their home. A survey of moms in the UK found 54% of mothers feel "friendless" after giving birth. Frequently, stay-at-home moms experience more feelings of worry, sadness, stress, and anger.
How To Fight Loneliness
Knowing you are not the only person who feels this kind of loneliness can be comforting. Although it is nice to feel you're not the only one, it doesn’t mean it takes away these feelings. You can take some steps to combat the loneliness in your life. Make the effort to go through the steps so you can feel happy again.
Acknowledge Those Feelings
This may seem like it goes without saying, but acknowledging your feelings is the first step to conquering those feelings. It can be natural to fight or ignore feelings of sadness or loneliness altogether. When they come up, it's important to acknowledge that the feelings exist because brushing them off can make you spiral into an even worse headspace.
Sit with your feelings and try to get to the root of them. Once you pinpoint what is causing you to feel the way you do, you can start figuring out how to end the cycle.
Reconnect With Oneself
After allowing yourself to feel your feelings, it is time to connect to who you are. Before you were a mother, there may have been a lot of things you used to prioritize. Now, you’re probably focusing all your time and energy on your children, partner, and family. It's normal to put their needs as a priority, but in moderation.
Try to recall your hobbies and interests before becoming a mother. Reconnect with who you were before, to find things that fulfill you in life. This can be anything from sports to reading — whatever makes you happy.
Get Out of the House
One of the best things you can do for yourself when you feel sadness or loneliness is to get out of the house. Getting outside once a day — no matter what you’re doing — can boost your mental health. Find a reason to get up and do something for yourself. It can be grabbing a coffee or walking around your neighborhood.
Fresh air can boost your mood and make you feel like you are participating in the world. Walking around inside your house all day does not give you the same effect.
Make Time for Self-Care
This can be one of the more challenging steps when battling loneliness. You may be so used to taking care of others, that it almost seems selfish when you take care of yourself. Making sure your needs are met and you are well rested is not selfish. You can dedicate a day to mental health to help yourself feel rejuvenated and well-rested.
Prioritizing yourself now and then is a way to remember that your own health is just as important as everyone else's in your family. When you feel your best, you can care for your children even better.
Find a Support Group
Reaching out when you are feeling isolated and alone can help tremendously. When you surround yourself with people who understand your struggles, they will be more than willing to help. You need to invest time into finding your support group of friends and family to go to during times of struggle.
Everyone needs that social connection to lift them up. One study stated face-to-face interactions could lower your odds of depression by 43%, but interacting on social media can actually raise your chances. Having a solid group you can lean on in hard times might just help you get through periods of feeling low.
Combating Loneliness as a Mom
Becoming a mother is a beautiful experience in a person's life. But even though it's such a blessing, that does not mean every day will feel joyful. It doesn’t make you a bad mother to feel lonely or overwhelmed. Admitting you’re lonely is the first step to becoming a better you and mother, and will empower you to take the steps necessary to combat that loneliness.
*Disclaimer: The advice on CafeMom.com is not a substitute for consultation with a medical professional or treatment for a specific condition. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem without consulting a qualified professional. Please contact your health-care provider with questions and concerns.
