Entitled Bride Is Boycotting the Holidays Because Her Stepfather Refuses To Pay for Her Wedding

Weddings are so often point of friction in families. Sometimes it’s because parents want control, or at least have a say, but the bride and groom want some autonomy when it comes to their special day. It all leads to hurt feelings and disagreements.

A situation came up recently for a bride who wants her stepfather to pay for her wedding, mainly because he paid for her stepsister’s. But her stepfather is saying no, and as a result, she won’t visit him for the holidays. Cue the family drama.

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The bride feels that she is entitled to having her wedding paid for.

Writing in to Slate’s Care and Feeding column, the bride explains that her parents divorced when she was 5, and her mom remarried when she was 7. Her stepfather has a daughter who is her age, and they grew up together.

“Two years ago, my stepsister married, and my stepfather threw her a destination wedding in Mexico. Iā€™m getting married next year and want a destination wedding in Hawaii. However, my stepfather is not willing to pay for it,” she writes.

“Itā€™s unfair that one daughter gets a paid wedding and the other doesnā€™t. I talked to my mother about my feelings, but she said that my boyfriend and I make much more money than my stepsister, which is why my stepfather paid for their wedding. Our income is not the problem. Itā€™s the principle that matters.”

Her stepfather's decision caused her to make a decision of her own.

“As a result, Iā€™ve refused to visit my family for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I think I have a right to be upset, and Iā€™m considering not inviting my stepfather or my stepsister to my wedding. My mother has been crying and saying Iā€™m tearing the family apart. I wish they could understand how I feel,” she concluded.

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The advice giver offered an important reminder.

The advice giver made a point that was really important.

“I understand that having your parents pay for your wedding is a classic tradition, but in the modern world, people donā€™t necessarily feel obligated to abide by those old conventions. In the past, couples who had their weddings paid for were often young and in single earner relationships in which paying for such an event may have been impossible,” she responded.

She reminded the bride that a wedding isn't a right.

“While it would be a lovely gesture for your stepfather to pay for your wedding, he doesnā€™t have an obligation to do so just because he did it for your stepsister. I understand why this may feel like heā€™s prioritizing his biological daughter over you, but thatā€™s not necessarily the case. It could simply be about helping out the child who needs it. If you and your fiancĆ© can afford a wedding, why exactly should your stepfather pay for it?” she wrote.

The bride was called out for her entitled behavior.

She urged the bride to be to go home for the holidays and not punish her family for her feelings. Instead, she should communicate her feelings.

“It may be helpful for your stepdad to hear that you feel like he thinks less of you than he does his other child,” she said. If money was in fact, the issue, she encouraged the bride to be honest. “Perhaps heā€™ll have a change of heart,” she said.

“Itā€™s petty not to invite your stepdad to the event if he doesnā€™t pay for it, and itā€™s unconscionable to decline to invite your stepsister. What did she do to you? Iā€™m of the opinion that if youā€™re grown enough to get married, youā€™re grown enough to pay for it. Iā€™m sorry that this is disappointing to you, but the majority of couples are not getting their weddings covered in 2024.”