My Stepdaughter Asked Me To Pay for her Wedding & I Said Her Dead Dad Could Pay

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A wedding is a beautiful day for couples to profess their love for one another in the company of the people closest to them. But as we all know, they have become extravagant affairs that often have hefty price tags. Some couples pay the bills independently, while others are lucky enough to have family members who contribute financially. For many people, it is a lovely and welcomed gesture when others help lighten the load.

Many years ago, it was tradition for the bride's family to pay wedding expenses. That's no longer true, but some people still assume their families will pay for their weddings.

A stepdad posted about his family's wedding drama in Reddit's AITA forum. His stepdaughter, who never treated him kindly, is now preparing to get married and wants him to start swiping his card. He told her that wasn't happening and that she could get her dead father to pay for the wedding. Is he a jerk, or did she deserve it?

There's a back story to the situation.

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According to the original poster, he's not refusing to pay for the wedding just because he can. His stepdaughter, Kelly, never wanted anything to do with him until now. He wrote that he started dating Kelly's mom, who was divorced, when she and her two sisters were young.

Her dad died of a drug overdose a few years later, and things were really rough. OP and the other girls formed a bond with him, but Kelly never wanted anything to do with that.

"She did not take it well and resulted in a lot of outbursts, I wasn't living there at this time. She went into therapy but overall didn't seem like it helped," he explained. "She threatens to run away if I married their mom. So I stayed away but continue to date their mom. Overtime the two other kids started to stay at my place in order to get away from the drama. It was a rough time for them and we bonded even more."

OP and Kelly's mom dated for years before finally deciding to marry.

When Kelly was 18, OP married her mom and adopted her two younger sisters. He didn't have much to do with Kelly at that point, which made him happy.

After making his life miserable for years, she's now getting married and wants him to pay for the wedding. OP told her that isn't happening.

"I got a call from her asking me to pay for her wedding since I paid for the other two. I told her no. This started an argument about how it's unfair," he wrote. "I had enough and told her to have her dad pay for the wedding. She hung up after some lovely names. I may have gone to far which makes me a jerk."

Should he have been a bit kinder?

Redditors thought OP's comment was a low blow.

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Many agreed that his words were harsh and that he could have handled the conversation differently.

His comment shocked people. "YTA. Not paying was fine but… dude, really? You mocked her dead father?" someone questioned.

This person agreed, commenting, "What you said was evil, regardless of her own bad behavior. You could have easily said, 'no' and not said anything further."

And this person didn't hold back: "That was a cruel comment to a very traumatized and damaged young woman. You don't have a close relationship with her so it is fine to decline me paying but you were a complete d—."

Others think OP and Kelly are both in the wrong.

There were plenty of people who thought the whole situation was a mess and that no one did the right thing.

"Yeah, she's an entitled brat to think she can treat you like garbage and then expect you to fund her wedding. However, you sure acted like garbage when you mocked her for having a dead father," one person wrote. "You owe an apology, but not a wedding fund."

This person agreed, writing that everyone sucks: "You for bringing up her dad in the argument. I agree with the not paying for the wedding though. A lot of audacity from her, expecting you to pay for her wedding."

But there were a few who thought OP's actions were justified.

"I understand this was the oldest girl and probably closest to her father and of course, she probably resented the divorce, but that's something you should grow out of," one person wrote. "once her father died, you'd think it might've opened up her heart a little, but apparently that was not to be. and you know so be it. It's her life. It's her choice.

"But it takes a lot of balls to then come skipping back and wanting you to pay for her wedding!!" the person continued. "i don't blame you for refusing, but I am curious as to what your wife thinks. a tiny y t a on the comment. a big NTA on not paying for the wedding."

Redditors understandably had mixed feelings about the situation.

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OP and Kelly obviously have a strained relationship, but Redditors thought bringing her biological dad into the scenario was totally out of pocket. Redditors don't think that OP owes Kelly any money toward her wedding, but they think that, as adults, they owe each other a little more respect.