Pregnancy loss is an absolutely devastating experience. Nothing can prepare parents for something so life-changing. Naturally, profound sadness is an immediate and often overwhelming feeling after such a traumatic experience, but that's not the only emotion. Grieving parents will go through a series of heavy emotions after a pregnancy loss, and many will likely try to find ways to still feel happiness during that time.
One couple on TikTok is finding the ways to tap into all of their feelings following a pregnancy loss, and have gone viral after creating a funny video as an outlet for their emotions. Many people are finding their humor healing as well.
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The couple are finding ways to work through their grief that feel authentic to them.
TikTokers Alexandra Madison and Jon Bouffard often create skits on their popular account. One of their recent skits humorously tackles the feelings they're having after the loss of their son Leo at 26 weeks.
When they found out Madison was pregnant, they made a video resigning from being a DINKS (Dual Income, No Kids) couple. In their new video, they address having that resignation denied. "We don’t handle rejection very well here," they wrote in the video's caption.
Just because they're being funny doesn't mean they aren't being genuine.
"We never thought we would be here making this 'follow-up' to our first video resigning as DINKs (Dual Income No Kids), but here we are. And that's life. Real life. There are ups and downs, and along the way, I've discovered that a little (sometimes dark) humor brings moments of relief," the caption continued.
In the video, the couple storm into the DINKS office, where Madison also plays the receptionist. She demands their denied application back before storming out again as Bouffard flips off the receptionist.
They want to remind people that grief looks different at different times.
"We had an entire healing process on our own and we didn’t want to come across as insensitive or that we didn’t care, because what we experienced was traumatic, heavy and sad," Madison told Today. "When we started feeling moments of joy and happiness again, we almost felt guilty … but there’s no right or wrong way to grieve."
The couple shared with the outlet that they struggled with using humor as a way to address their grief. Madison shared that it was time "to address the elephant in the room."
In the video's caption she wrote, "I've discovered that a little (sometimes dark) humor brings moments of relief. This post is a small part of that journey, a reminder that it's okay to give ourselves and each other permission to laugh again."
The couple has been on a winding road to healing.
"The hardest thing as a guy is that there’s nothing you can do," Bouffard told Today. "I have my own pain, but I don’t know exactly what Alex is going through … to see [it] is the worst thing I’ve ever experienced in my life."
The couple shared that they had met with a grief counselor as a way to process their grief. While Madison's grief was "immediate," Bouffard's came in waves and he was unsure of how to express it.
"There was a moment where I felt resentful that he wasn’t mourning as 'hard' as I was," Madison said. "My therapist pointed out … would you want or appreciate that?"
Madison and Bouffard are writing and starring in a short film about pregnancy loss, and will continue to make their skits.
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The couple has found community through their loss.
"Hearing stories from other couples who walked through this before really helped me feel less alone," Madison said. "If we can do that for someone else, that’s all that matters."
The comments on their video are full of people sharing their own experiences, and people thanking the couple for choosing to share their grief.
"We were denied twice before our application finally went through," one person wrote.
"I'm happy y'all gave yourselves time to heal, and we love some dark humor," another added.
"Alex and Jon, I am so, so sorry for your loss. Seeing this really hit home. My wife and I have had 4 pregnancie losses in the past 2 years. October 3 2023 was our most devastating, much like yours," another person wrote.
