The parts of parenthood that make it so exhausting are the mental labor, the preplanning, and the anticipation of needs of both the children and the household at large. Sadly, when it comes to the mental load, most of that lands on the shoulders of the mother.
What’s even more distressing is that so many fathers and husbands can’t even imagine where they might be letting their partners down. One father wondered if his recent actions regarding dinner made him rude, inconsiderate, or just a flat out a–hole.
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Johnny picked up his youngest two children while his wife had their older daughter.
On Reddit, the father shared the situation that caused his wife to go off, accusing him of wasting her time. “I picked up my 3 and 5 year-old u from daycare on a night that my wife had to take our 12-year-old to a practice,” he began. “They were hungry when I picked them up and I knew they’d like to go to dinner instead of going home.”
Johnny decided to take the little ones out to eat. It seemed like the thoughtful thing to do.
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Johnny shared that his wife flipped out.
But once Johnny and his children were at the restaurant, he got a text from his wife that she had made them plates before she left the house. Johnny said it was too late to change plans so he and the children stayed at the restaurant and ate. He added this detail: “The dinner she made was pretty basic but it was dinner nonetheless.”
When his wife got home, Johnny told her that he saw her text too late and ate out. Johnny said she “flipped out” on him for wasting her time. Even though he explained that that’s not what he intended to do, it didn’t seem to make the situation better.
Everyone agreed Johnny could have done more.
He asked the Reddit community if what he did was rude. The community let Johnny know that although he might not have been a full blown a–hole, he could have handled this situation differently.
“It feels a lot like you just wanted to treat your kids and didn’t care about what was planned at home,” one person offered. “It feels really off that what your wife and 12 y/o were doing for dinner never came into this whole thing.”
Other Redditors had questions.
Another person took issue with the OP’s comment about the homemade dinner. “‘It was pretty basic’ so? She had to spend time on it,” the person commented. “And he definitely wasn’t sorry as he’s on AITA trying to get sympathy. He doesn’t care he wasted her time because he doesn’t value her contribution. If it were me I’d let him start cooking more since the effort is wasted on him anyway.”
Someone else simply wanted to know, “How frequently do things like this happen? Do you always do your best as a partner to acknowledge her contributions and balance the division of household labor?”
The biggest issue was a lack of consideration.
More than one person wanted to know why he didn’t consider his wife and eldest child and the timing in his response.
“You should have texted wife and asked if you could bring anting home for her and 12y/o though!!!!. You saw the message while at the restaurant, you should have replied right then and offered to bring something home for the other half of the family.”
We agree this dad is not a jerk for getting his little ones dinner. Instead, it’s the general lack of consideration, appreciation, and poor communication that has upset his wife.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
