Being a first-time mom is an overwhelming experience. You’re being tasked with caring for a helpless little person, and you’ve never done it before. As a parent, you know how you want to raise your child, and it’s hard when people around you insert themselves in ways you didn’t ask for.
One woman on Reddit is opening up about the way her mother-in-law has been creating issues for her. Since the birth of the woman’s daughter, her MIL has been nothing but a problem, so she demanded that they limit contact for a while. Now, she’s having second thoughts.
Her birth experience was tainted.
The first-time mom shared her issues in the AITA forum in a post she has since deleted. According to the mom, her problems with her MIL began from the minute she went into labor. After developing pre-eclampsia, her labor was induced at 34 weeks. “As I’m processing that I’m about to have a baby, my phone starts going off – my mother in law had been telling multiple people I was in labor,” the mom wrote.
She didn’t even get to tell her friends, because her MIL posted about it on social media.
Their baby was in the NICU for a time.
“When our daughter was born she was taken from me and immediately sent to the NICU, I did not see her, hold her, anything. She was gone before I could process she was born. Our lovely nurse made sure to get a picture with my husbands phone so we had something,” the woman wrote.
The couple let their family know their daughter had been born and was in the NICU. They made it clear that they didn’t want anyone sharing anything about her birth. Understandably, they wanted to do things in their own time. And with their daughter in the NICU, they needed time and space to process.
“I gave birth at 11:02pm, and it was well after midnight by the time I got to my postpartum room. I woke at 6a to texts congratulating us,” she shared.
Because of her early arrival, the first-time mom couldn’t hold her baby girl for about a week. When she came out of the bathroom, her mother-in-law was holding her baby. “I’m not gonna lie, I cried,” she revealed. She claimed that she and her husband were “adamant” about her being the first one to hold her baby, but her MIL “had to swoop in.”
Her MIL’s behavior in the hospital was just the beginning.
Things continued to escalate after the baby’s birth. Her MIL continued to exhibit behavior the mom finds “overwhelming.” For example, the older woman was suggesting that she “take my vulnerable baby out during cold/flu/RSV season, or insisting I let her around sick relatives.”
The child has lung issues because of being born premature, and grandma gave the parents a hard time about having her vaccinated early. There were other issues that arose as well, including a fight over the baby’s first birthday party and MIL creating a nursery in her home for the baby.
Their relationship is completely broken now.
“Things finally came to a head Monday [at] my husbands grandma’s funeral,” the mom wrote. She and her husband chose to keep their baby away from his grandmother because she was in a nursing home. Due to baby’s health issues, is wasn’t safe to bring her there.
“At the funeral my mother in law felt the need to tell everyone how awful I am for keeping her from his grandma and how much she would have loved her,” the woman shared. “I asked her to stop because I already felt a ton of guilt and was really struggling and she kept insisting I was terrible and harming my child by ‘locking her inside all day.'” It was then that the new mom asked for space.
“She’s now telling everyone I’m ‘keeping her from her for no reason’ and she will take me to court because it’s her first grandchild and she had a right to see her. I feel overwhelmed and sad it even got this far, but I feel like she thinks my daughter is hers and needs a reality check,” she wrote in her post.
Everyone is praising her for putting her foot down.
“Quite honestly? I would FedEx back every piece of clothing MIL has sent. I would give MIL a warning: back off, give us space, or there will be no contact until baby recovers and is at a safe weight. Further, if she continues after this period, she will be again banned for another time period,” one person suggested.
“If you don’t start now this will be your life forever and you’ll miss all of you daughters firsts you can’t get back,” another person wrote. “Let her talk all she wants, you know the truth and have a child to protect. Do what’s best for you and your family, whether looney tune likes it or not.”
“You went through a really hard time with your first (and possibly only) baby,” someone else commented. “You’re allowed to be self, you’re allowed to be angry. Be that and stand your ground. Your MIL had her time with her baby and she is trying to relive it with you.”
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