My MIL Ruined My Last Postpartum Experience So I Told Her She Can’t See My New Baby for 6 Months

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Having a toxic mother-in-law is never an easy thing. They always find ways to make your life more difficult than it needs to be. This often gets even worse when you’re pregnant. Suddenly, they’ve become an absolute nightmare, demanding your time and energy. And often, they’ll complicate your pregnancy in ways that are unnecessary.

One woman on Reddit had to create boundaries with her toxic MIL after the way the older woman behaved during the postpartum period with her first baby. The mom-to-be has postpartum-related mental health issues, and is afraid her MIL will make them worse. But now she’s worried she was too harsh with the boundary she created.

The postpartum period was really hard for the mom-to-be.

Sharing her dilemma in the AITA forum, the woman explained that her first pregnancy was challenging. She gave birth to her first daughter during the beginning of the pandemic, which was hard. But then on top of that, she was dealing with “severe” postpartum depression and anxiety that “eventually” turned into postpartum psychosis.

Her toxic MIL treated her “very poorly” during this time, including calling her postpartum psychosis a “barrage of s—.” And when the woman asked her to “please not say things like that because they’re hurtful & mean,” the MIL snapped back “you don’t tell me how to talk.”

According to the woman, her husband and his mother don’t have the best relationship. It has only gotten worse since then. And her mother-in-law refuses to apologize for her actions.

Now that she’s pregnant again, she wants a different experience.

“I don’t want her around at all postpartum,” the woman explained. She claimed that her mother-in-law caused problems between her and her husband, as well as with her parents.

“She wasn’t seeing her granddaughter as often as she wanted so she threw out toys she bought for her, sent back photos we sent of her, I could go on and on,” the woman wrote. Neither her nor her husband are interested in dealing with his mother a second time around. They didn’t even announce the new pregnancy until she was six months pregnant.

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She knew she had to create a boundary with her toxic MIL, but it wasn’t well received.

Recently, the MIL told the couple she’d be staying nearby to “help out.” Of course, the couple tried to let her down gently, but it didn’t work. “Eventually we just told her flat out we didn’t want her around until baby was a bit older (at least 6 months old) because we don’t want any extra stress,” the woman shared.

Her mother-in-law “reacted badly and is calling us toxic monsters” who were “trying to deprive her of time with her grandchild,” the mom said. Now, she’s worried she was too “brash.” But at the same time, she “thinks back to all the chaos she caused and I feel at peace with the decision.” Her husband is also on board with keeping his mother away.

Everyone is telling her she did the right thing.

“Your mental health needs to be a priority after birth,” one person noted. “You need to reduce as many stressors as you can. You should cut her off now so it won’t even be in the back of your mind when you give birth.”

“Neither you or your husband want her presence,” another wrote. “She may be ‘the parent’ but she’s not your parent and not your children’s parent. She can’t even maintain a good relationship with her own child.”

“You’re absolutely right to set boundaries—especially after everything you went through,” someone commented. “You don’t owe anyone access to your baby, especially someone who caused you so much pain. Good job standing your ground. Your mental health and peace come first. You’re doing what’s best for your family, and that’s what matters most. If she can’t respect a simple boundary, that says more about her than you. You’re not toxic—you’re protective, and that’s what a good mom does.”