Baby names often end up becoming a topic of family drama. People have opinions and feelings about the names they like, and sometimes they have to make them known. Grandparents can be especially pushy, trying to insert their side of the family more into the new family unit.
One woman shared on Reddit that both sets of her new baby’s grandparents were trying to bully her and her husband into choosing a baby name they all agreed on. The thing is, their granddaughter has already been born, and her parents love the name they gave her!
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The parents were confident in their name choice.
A woman shared the story on Reddit, explaining that she and her husband named their daughter Wren, a name their families “weren’t thrilled about.” She explained that a couple days after Wren’s birth, her parents “told me they had the name Dorothy saved for a daughter after me and when I was 2 they miscarried a baby and called her Dorothy in their hearts.”
“They told me Dorothy would be a lovely name and Dorothy Wren didn’t sound terrible so wouldn’t that be a nice way to honor the baby who should have been my sibling,” she added.
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Suddenly, the other grandparents had name opinions too.
A few days later, the other set of grandparents (her husband’s parents), also expressed that they liked the name Dorothy for a little girl.
“My [in-laws] were helped a lot by an old elderly neighbor when they first got married and her name was Dorothy and they always considered that name for a girl, but they had all boys,” she explained. “Both sets of parents said it was like a message being sent and it would be the perfect name for our daughter.”
OP and her husband aren't allowing room for input.
The woman shared that she and her husband aren’t open to name suggestions from the grandparents. Especially since the baby is already here!
“The parents asked me to consider it as the mom and I said no, that my husband and I chose the name we feel is right for our daughter and we have zero regrets,” she explained.
But now, the grandparents are upset with her, saying she should follow “conventions of the past” and let them have their say on her baby’s name.
People are taking the new mom's side.
“Don’t your parents know that this is your child and not a family project?” one person wrote. “The parents get to name the child, not the grandparents. Sure, the grandparents can express their preference, but their preference doesn’t constitute an obligation on your part. Also, why call your child after someone who has no connection to YOUR life?”
“This is the time to set boundaries and make it clear YOU and your husband are the parents, they don’t get that kind of say in things when it comes to YOUR children,” another person wrote. “I would simply tell them ‘Our daughter already has a name, we’re not changing it, and we will not be discussing it anymore.'”
Another commenter shared: “When my son was still a womb nugget my mom demanded, not asked demanded I named my son Samuel because that should have been MY name. (I’m not a Samantha either so idk). I immediately vetoed it because it wasn’t one both me and my ex liked. She then said I owed it to her because I was supposed to be a boy and then came out a girl. When I again said no she said that’s fine I’ll just take custody, adopt him and name him Samuel myself. My child is 13, not named Samuel & has zero idea who she is.”
Many advised that the mom should stand firm against the grandparents.
“You have to hold the line on this. Your parents went behind your back to rope in your ILs to pressure you to do what they want, and you cannot let this tactic work,” one person began. “You’ll get it forever, if it ever works once. Your child is your child. Not your parents’ redo. You considered their suggestion and decided against it. Your daughter deserves her own name, which you have given her. And it sounds like they only brought up this ‘oh but we’re so attached to this name!!1!’ stuff because they don’t like the name you picked. 100% pressure tactic.”
“You have considered it, and your answer is no,” another wrote. “You are going to stick to the name you both as her parents have chosen. They aren’t mad you haven’t considered the name, they are mad they aren’t getting their own way.”
“Your parents and your in-laws are trying to manipulate you and your partner,” someone else commented. “They literally went behind your backs to agree amongst themselves on a ‘better name.’ You guys might want to reassess how much interaction they have with your daughter going forward.”
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
