For many new parents, the most important advice they receive is to establish a schedule. Setting up a daily routine for sleep and meals helps little ones develop properly and feel safe and secure. It also provides caregivers a sense of control in what often feels like the Wild West with no handbook.
Sticking to a routine during the toddler years is just as important. As seasoned parents know all too well, the consequences of deviating from a child’s schedule often aren’t worth it. However, a Reddit user recently wondered if she was at fault for refusing to help her husband after he promised their 3-year-old she could stay up late.
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The Reddit mom said her husband promised their daughter she could stay up late.
In late September, a mom took to Reddit to better understand whether she was at fault following a stressful parenting incident with her 3-year-old daughter. She prefaced her AITA subreddit thread by noting her daughter is “suspected to have autism” and that she had pink eye during the recent debacle.
It all started when her husband promised their preschooler she could stay up late.
Except, he didn't consult her — so she told him he was on his own.
“Last night at dinner, my husband promised the 3 year old that she can stay up late since she’s not going to preschool today,” the OP explained. ” I asked how late and he said 9. Bedtime is at 7:30. I told him I wasn’t going to deal with that mess and if he wants to let her stay up that late he can be the one to get her to sleep.”
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The tantrums started shortly after the toddler's normal bedtime.
According to the OP, their 3-year-old started throwing tantrums by 8 p.m. and was “miserable” by the time her husband got her in the bathtub at 8:45 p.m.
“She was melting down in the bath, then in bed, and he eventually gave her the pacifier (we’ve been trying to wean her off) and brought her to our bed at 9:45,” she explained. “She finally fell asleep at 10.”
Now, her husband is angry that she didn't help.
“My husband told me he’s upset with me for leaving him to do everything by himself even when I knew they were having a hard time,” the OP shared. “I told him I wasn’t the one that promised the autistic 3 year old that she can break from the routine and go to sleep an hour and a half past her bedtime but he still thinks I should’ve helped. AITA for not helping?”
Redditors unsurprisingly sided with the mom in this case.
In the thread, Reddit users agreed that the mom was NTA.
One person wrote: “NTA. You were extremely clear that he would be doing this solo. He made his choice knowing the consequences it would have. It is not your job to clean up the messes he chooses to make.”
“Kids that age need routine.” another pointed out. “They don’t need to stay up late when they don’t have school at that age. Especially if she’s suspected to be on the spectrum, they need routine even more. You warned him. He’s got only himself to blame. Does he help you out normally if you struggle at night for bedtime?”
Meanwhile, yet another Redditor shared: “I would have also let him do the morning routine on his own, that’s when you also pay for going off routine the previous night.”
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
