A mom who had her third child at 40 says she was judged for being an older parent at her child’s school. She shared a post on Reddit about the incident, when a woman asked her if her third baby was a “mistake.” The Redditor added that she has received similar comments from strangers before, because of her age and the fact that she has an infant. For some, the idea of “starting over” or having another baby at the age of 40 or older is hard to believe, apparently.
She also has two older kids, who are 5 and 7, but, as a 40-year-old woman with a baby, she has received criticism from complete strangers often. She wrote in her post that this particular comment struck a chord. Other Redditors commented about how they might respond if they were asked if their child was a mistake, regardless of their age. But the original poster, or OP, was still stung by the stranger’s response to realizing she is a 40-year-old mom to a baby.
A mom says she was judged for having another baby at 40.
The mom on Reddit posted that she attended her 7-year-old’s “bring your grandparents to school day” because her parents couldn’t. She wrote that when one of the grandmothers there met her, she asked how old she was and how many kids she had.
That’s where things took a turn. According to the mom, after she shared that her other kids are 5 years old and 3 months old, the grandmother replied, “You had a baby at 40 years old????” Your husband actually was on board with having a baby with you at 40 years old???” Was your baby a mistake???”
After the mom shared her story, other Redditors were quick to defend her. The original poster said she responded politely and didn’t want to push it and make a spectacle out of the comment from the older woman. But according to one person on Reddit, “If someone asked me if my baby was a mistake, my response would be, ‘No, but that question was.'”
Another commented, “If you want to go scorched earth, just respond ‘Were YOU?’ when they ask if the baby was a mistake. See how they answer…”
People had a lot to say to the mom.
Someone else advised the mom to hit back at the next person who gives her a similar comment about having a baby at 40. “Women are judged for everything at every age,” the person commented on the Reddit thread. “Say something that will embarrass them next time.”
Another person wrote about hearing it’s more common than ever for women around the age of 40 to have kids, whether it’s their first or not. According to NBC News, as of 2023, more women older than 40 are having babies than teenage girls. A portion of that is because in “1990, adolescents accounted for almost 13% of all births; in 2023, they made up 4%,” the news outlet noted.
That might not stop snide comments, especially from older women, when they hear about a 40-year-old mom with an infant, but it does offer insight into the statistics of what is the norm in some ways.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
