Becoming a parent is a huge undertaking that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Having kids forever changes a person’s priorities, and not everyone is cut out for the responsibility. That is why plenty of folks are child-free by choice.
Unfortunately, some people have difficulty understanding and accepting when family members or friends opt out of parenthood. Many child-free by choice individuals find themselves often defending their decision, even to strangers. And one Reddit user is facing the wrath of her sister after she was honest with her sister’s kids about why she doesn’t want kids of her own.
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The Reddit user's family has always 'been vocal' about her being child-free by choice.
In an August 23 Reddit thread, a user began by sharing that her younger sister has three kids, ages 7, 5, and 3.
“I’m childfree by choice, which has always been a point of contention in my family,” she explained in her post to Am I the A–hole forum. “My sister especially has been very vocal about her belief that ‘a woman’s purpose is to be a mother’ and how I’m ‘missing out on the best part of life.’ I’ve always just brushed it off to keep the peace.”
Recently, her sister's children kept badgering her about why she doesn't have kids.
While the OP’s sister was busy during a recent visit, her sister’s kids brought up the topic of her not having children.
“Her 7-year-old asked me why I don’t have kids. I tried to give a vague, polite answer, but they kept pressing, saying their mom told them that I would change my mind one day because ‘everyone does,'” the OP recalled.
The OP decided to answer honestly and thoughtfully.
“At this point, I decided it was time for the truth,” the child-free by choice sister shared. “I calmly told them that I didn’t want children because I value my freedom, career, and personal time. I explained that while some people love being parents, others find happiness in different ways, and that it’s okay not to have kids if that’s what makes you happy. I also added that everyone’s life choices are valid as long as they’re happy and fulfilled.”
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Evidently, her sister overheard — and she was not happy.
The sister overheard a portion of their conversation and “blew up” at the OP, even accusing her of trying to “brainwash” her children.
“She said that I was selfish for planting ‘doubt’ in her children’s minds about the importance of family,” the OP wrote. “She even accused me of ‘glamorizing’ a lifestyle that she feels is empty and meaningless.”
After the sister stormed out, their parents called and told the OP she should have just “humored” the kids or changed the subject, insisting she owes their mom an apology.
In the comments, Reddit users resoundingly agreed the OP is not at fault.
The verdict: The OP is NTA, or not the a–hole.
As one Redditor pointed out, “Your sister has been undermining you to her kids for years in a very passive-aggressive way. Because of this, this question was bound to come up sometime. And, rather than be PA in return, you were direct and approached the subject head on. And your sister couldn’t take it because she is afraid that if her kids are exposed to other points of view, they will develop opinions of their own.”
Another agreed, writing, “NTA – you have a totally polite and age appropriate response.”
“NTA. You told the truth. There was nothing harmful about what you said,” one person shared. “Her kids need to hear from all sides of a story so that when they get older, they can make decisions like this about themselves. Your sister honestly sounds a bit insecure and jealous. Perhaps she regrets not having the freedom you do?”
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
