As much as we like to think it’s not so, sometimes kids are mean. They bully other kids for all kinds of reasons, none of which are ever valid. It’s cool to be kind. As parents, we must teach our children empathy for their peers and that bullying isn’t OK. Everyone is different, and kids must recognize and respect those differences, particularly if it’s something they can’t control.
Moms can be very protective of our children. When someone hurts them, we can become defensive. A mom explained on a Reddit forum that kids bully her daughter because of the side effects of a medical condition she can’t control. The original poster confronted a bully’s mother, and it turns out she’s a bully, too.
When the women found themselves at a PTA meeting, and the hypocrisy started to shine, OP called out the bully’s mom, and now she wonders if that was the wrong thing to do.
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The child's condition causes her to smell sometimes.
OP explained in Reddit’s AITA forum that her daughter has a metabolic condition called trimethylaminuria. It causes her body to emit a “fish-like” odor that can be off-putting. It causes her trouble at school because kids don’t understand.
A special diet and medications help, but OP was faced with unemployment, and the family simply couldn’t afford those things for a while. She’s trying to get back on track, but her daughter is suffering.
“I feel like I am to be blamed for all of this since I cannot provide the care that she deserves. She’s the sweetest kid and doesn’t deserve the cruelty that she’s experiencing,” the mom explained in her post.
“I know kids in her school are just kids and would probably wont understand but I tried calling the mom of the kid that my daughter pointed out a week ago but I was blamed for ‘being a horrible mom’ for allowing my kid to smell like that even after I explained the situation.”
OP and the bully's mom met up recently at a PTA meeting.
Part of the discussion that night was bullying. The bully’s mom dared to speak, and OP went off.
“So part of the PTA meeting was talk about bullying and when the homeroom teacher asked a question she answered. My ear just rung and told everyone how much of a hypocrite she was and told everyone about our phone call. I was so upset and just asked to be excused after I said it,” OP wrote.
She added that she’s doing the very best she can, but it never feels like enough. Was she wrong for calling out the other mom?
Redditors understood why OP got upset.
Plenty of Redditors believe the bully must have learned from her mom.
One wrote, “The AH here is the mother of the classroom bully, who obviously taught her kid that kind of behavior in the first place. It’s very unfortunate that this woman feels entitled to blame others for her kid’s bad behavior because it’s her child and her parenting that is at fault.”
This person agreed, commenting, “NTA, you’re not an AH, just a mother trying her best. The bully’s mom, on the other hand…well, the apple didn’t fall far.”
An education professional agreed that it’s not OP who’s in the wrong. “Most bullies learn the behavior at home. I was a school nurse for 23 years and I can tell you that your daughter’s school should be doing more to help your child,” the person wrote. “I would also check with social services and/or FAMIS to see if there is other help for you guys, until things start to turn around. You are doing your best and your daughter will see and feel that. I’m just so sorry that your family is have to go through all this. It’s discriminatory, it’s bullying and it shouldn’t be allowed.”
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OP did the best she could.
Redditors agreed this is a mom who wants the best for her daughter and she let her emotions go. Sometimes, that’s what happens.
This person offered some moral support: “[Not the a–hole] and I don’t have any advice. I’m just here to tell you that you’re doing your best and to stay strong! You’re a wonderful mom, and your daughter will appreciate all your sacrifices when she grows up. I hope her experiences at school get better.”
Someone else gave OP some good advice. “Oh hon, you are neither an AH nor a bad mom. You are trying to survive, and yet still manage to show up for your kid. You tried to appeal to bully’s mom’s sense of humanity (turns out she doesn’t have any) and you showed up to the PTA meeting. A bad mom and an AH would have done neither,” the person shared.
“Keep moving, one foot in front of the other. Things will improve,” the person added. “You are teaching your kids a powerful lesson about perseverance. You got this, mama.”
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
