Throwing a birthday party for your kid can be expensive. If you want to give them an experience like a trampoline gym or a bouncy castle, it adds up quickly. And then you have to think about feeding all of the kids who are invited. It’s definitely pricey, but should you be pushing those costs onto other parents? That’s what one mom is wondering after another mom asked for money toward lunch at the party she was throwing for her kid.
This is the mom’s first birthday party experience, and she wasn’t sure of etiquette.
The mom asked for advice from other moms on the popular Mumsnet message boards. She explained that her child is 5 and has been invited to a friend’s birthday party.
“I have a text from the mum who invited us asking for a deposit of £5 for the Papa John’s pizza. And if DC had allergies, could we please send over the money for her own personalised small pizza?” the mom wrote.
It’s clear she was stunned by the audacity of the other mom.
“Not a joke,” she continued. “But I thought it was some sort of odd text scam. Then realised it couldn’t be, as it was about the party?” She said that the text was in the “same style” the other mom used in previous texts.
“Is this normal, to charge for birthday food now? Seems very, very odd!” she wrote in her post. She added that cake would be served, but payment wasn’t being requested for that.
“My own mum would be in fits of laughter to be told someone was hosting a party and charging for food,” she shared.
All of the commenters assured her this wasn’t proper birthday party etiquette.
“That’s ridiculous, if you can’t pay for the party don’t have a party,” one person wrote. Another person added, “Not normal at all. Some people have no shame.”
“Not normal. When I had a party for my daughter when she was about 3 I bought every kid an individual McDonald’s and wouldn’t have dreamed of asking for payment,” another commenter wrote.
“Charging for a party is what you’d expect from a gang of teenagers trying to get the money together for booze, because one of them has a free house,” another person quipped.
A lot of parents suggested maybe they shouldn’t attend.
“Honestly never heard of that. It’s very strange and not normal. I’d decline the invitation,” one comment read.
“I don’t think I would take DC. At that age they get invited to whole class parties. In a year or two it will just be a fraction of the class, as they begin to only invite friends,” another parent pointed out.
“No not normal at all, decline that invite!” one mom wrote. “I get that parties are expensive but that is why some kids don’t have them, or have very small ones.”
“She shouldn’t be hosting a large party if she can’t afford to cater for the guests, either that or she’s just unbelievably cheeky,” another mom wrote. “I would RSVP no to any children’s birthday invite that required us to pay towards the party.”
