
If you invite your child’s friend on your family vacation, do you expect the other parents to split the bill? That’s the question one mom is asking. Her daughter joined her friend and their family on an international trip, and the parents of the other child are expecting to be fully reimbursed.
Of course, the mom sent her daughter on the trip with money of her own, but she also believed that certain things would be paid for by the parents going on the trip, because they invited her. The whole situation brings up an important question about expectations when hosting.
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The money ask came as a shock.
The mom sought advice for how to handle an unexpected request for money from the opinionated people on Reddit.
“Ok so my daughter (16) went to Costa Rico with a friend and her parents & grandparents,” she started. “I assumed they would only charge us for her food and activities like zip lining. Nope. They are asking for a portion of her accommodations and car rental as well. Why on earth did I assume she was tagging along?”
The mom has a different understanding of how you take your kid's friend on a family vacation.

Her post continues with her explaining that her assumptions were because “that’s what we did for my other daughters friend two years ago.”
“I would never dream of charging so much when I was going anyway!” she said, explaining that paying the money “ain’t gonna break me.” It seems she just wanted reassurance for her feelings.
Many people agreed that the family hosting should cover most costs.
“This is garbage,” someone commented. “Parents in my friend group only expected you to have spending money if you were invited along. I could see maybe expecting adult guests’ charges to be split, but we’re literally talking about a kid here. You shouldn’t invite someone along on your already planned vacation unless you plan to cover it.”
Another person pointed out: “You don’t invite someone and then stick an invoice in the mail. This is a family holiday, not a business venture.”
“I think in most circles (correct me if I’m wrong) but if I’m allowing my kids to bring a friend on vacation I’m paying for travel/lodging/food/activities and the kid is responsible for bringing some spending cash for souvenirs and or any outside of the norm stuff they would want to do,” someone else wrote.
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She added some important context.

In response to questions, the mom gave some additional context. She explained that because her daughter had been to Costa Rica before, she paid her airfare. There was a phone conversation with the other parents, and based on her understanding, the mom thought her daughter would pay for “her own meals out, souvenirs and excursions.”
She also explained that the bill was sent via email, but she wanted to have a “face to face conversation to negotiate a compromise.” And when asked for the amount, she shared that the parents asked for $2,800. “$1200 for accommodations. $400 for food. And then excursions which I was expecting to pay.”
People debated on if she should be responsible for paying.
“This seems crazy to me,” one person commented. “When you invite your children’s friends to a holiday or an activity you just pay. In saying that, i would probably just pay the money to avoid any further hassles.”
“Okay I’m sorry but I’d be the tacky one here and not reply to the email,” another suggested. “Make them call and ask for it lol then I would say oh well we wouldn’t have let her go if we’d known up front what you were charging. I’d pay but I’d definitely let them know they should’ve been honest from the start, put them on the spot!”
“Don’t pay the accommodations or car rental,” someone else commented. “You didn’t get a say in selecting on the front end. Do not pay costs after the trip is done. I would ask for receipts for the other expenses. If the relationship is going to be torched, I may as well add fuel to the fire. I wouldn’t pay anything without proof. They are tacky enough to pass on their expenses to you.”
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.