I Left Our ‘Dream’ Family Vacation Early Because My MIL Used My Toothpaste

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Mothers-in-law can be a lot. We have all heard plenty of horror stories about MILs gone bad, or have stories about our own difficult MILs. So many MIL horror stories have one common denominator: a lack of boundaries. How many stories have we seen where a mother-in-law oversteps or inserts herself in a way that makes someone uncomfortable?

One man is sharing a story about a recent family vacation that his MIL was also on, and how her constant lack of boundaries caused him to leave the vacation early.

The family was on a 'dream' vacation in Italy.

Turning to Reddit's Am I the A–hole community, a man shared his mother-in-law horror story that took place during family vacation to Italy. The man explained that he and his wife were planning a trip to Venice "for months."

"Venice has always been my wife's idea of a romantic city, so it's been her dream to go there. However, we can't just leave our daughter at home," he explained about their 5-year-old daughter.

Initially, they had wanted to leave their daughter with his wife's mother, but his MIL "said that it was her dream to visit too," so his wife decided to invite her, though the husband was "more reluctant."

His wife then planned the entire trip herself, including booking hotel accommodations and meals.

Things started to unravel quickly thanks to his MIL's presence.

"To my dismay, she booked 1 rooms of 2 queens instead of two rooms with two kings. I planned for this to be a romantic getaway, and did not want my daughter in the room with us. We could easily afford two rooms, but my wife wanted to keep an eye on her as well," the man shared.

"To make matters worse, my MIL was constantly in my space. She also had to share all of my wife's expensive products (facewash, shampoo, lotion, etc)."

He went on to share that his daughter liked to sit on the hotel bed he and his wife were sharing, prompting his MIL to do the same, which he called "unhygienic." He also felt like her actions were a violation of their bed, as he is "a very private person." His MIL also "rummaged through our suitcase looking for a hair tie," which he didn't like, so he locked the suitcase.

It was inevitable that everything was going to blow up — and it did, epically.

"The final straw was when I woke up in the morning, I saw that MIL has yet again, forgotten something. For the last few days, she's been sharing the same toothpaste as me and my wife! I don't like the thought of her putting her tooth brush close to (or even on) the toothpaste nozzle and I was ill the more I thought about it. I asked MIL if the only reason she came was to freeload off of me and my wife, as she didn't pay for any of the expenses (hotel, amenities, food), only her own plane tickets. I said that I've asked her politely several times to stop using my wife's stuff, especially because I share it with her and it's very inappropriate.

"My MIL was very upset and told my wife, and my wife screamed at me. I was very angry that the trip that I paid with MY OWN MONEY was now ruined, and I changed the date of my plane ticket and went straight home. My wife has called me several times afterwards, screaming at me and saying that our daughter is upset. I feel bad that our daughter was caught in the situation, but it was really not acceptable what my MIL did and I had to set some boundaries before it gets worse.

"My wife has her own card and enough money to stay there. I'm not sure about her plans about staying or not. I've been ignoring her calls to take sometime for my own mental health," he wrote.

People immediately called the OP out because he 'abandoned' his family in Italy and went home.

"Your wife books the wrong hotel room so your solution is to abandon her on her dream vacation, forcing her to care for your high-maintenance kindergartener on her own?" one person commented. "Couldn’t you have booked a separate room for your MIL instead of abandoning your wife and child? YTA."

"Look, I’m sorry to break it to you but, uh, that bed that MIL sat on?" another comment reads. "Other people have already done way less hygienic things on it. OP you sound insufferable. And it’s not your money. It’s your money and your wife’s money. Community property. YTA."

"You are actively harming your marriage by continuing to ignore her calls," someone shared. "All of this happened because you couldn't communicate like an adult (how hard is it to say 'let's go buy another toothpaste so you don't have to use ours' for example?) and now you're doing the opposite of damage control by avoiding her on purpose and claiming that it's for your mental health."

Another comment reads: "YTA- sorry. I don’t see where you said that you spoke to your wife privately about your issues with HER mother, nor do I see where you did much in the way of preparing for your trip. I suck at planning and I would probably let my wife handle that part- but I wouldn’t really have a place to complain if I was unhappy with the rooms or anything else along those lines. Sorry you had a bad vacation, but you just left your wife with her now angry mother and a very upset 5 year old in a far away, unfamiliar place. I can see where you may be annoyed at your mother in law- but you seemed to jump right over annoyed and straight into a temper tantrum."

To his credit, the OP did see the error of his ways, but it was too late.

The OP was open to the harsh criticisms in the comments, acknowledging that he may need therapy to work through some of the issues he had with his mother-in-law's behavior.

"Thank you to everyone that responded. I'm reading through each response carefully and I have realized my mistakes. I'm taking tonight to write a sincere apology and I will be calling my wife first thing in the morning tomorrow. Thank you again. I love her more than anything and I want to make amends," he wrote.

His wife commented, and it wasn't pretty.

To everyone's surprise, the OP's wife commented on the post after it was sent to her by a friend.

"You are acting like a petulant child," she started. "Our 5 year old daughter as more sense than you. No amount of words can describe how incredibly disappointed I am with you. I made an account so I can address you here before you make up anymore bulls— about 'apologizing.'"

She went on. "Oh, and the apology call that you said you were going to make? I never got it. Thanks for ruining my dream vacation and making my mother and daughter see just how much of an a– that you are."

And it didn't get any better. "I see all of your replies. Starting it with a 'Thank you for your response"'. Well, when are you going to thank ME for all of your bulls— that I put up with on this trip?"

She also defended her mom. "My mother was generous enough to come along and help with our daughter, yet you continued to pester her with snide comments and petty remarks. What happened to 'respect your elders?' Or can you not stop being an a– for half a second? She is absolutely furious with the way you addressed her in this post, and rightfully so."

And then came the kicker. "Also, I'm done serving this 'family'. The only thing I'm going to serve you now are divorce papers, Mr. Solo Breadwinner. And I want full custody. I cannot let you be this kind of influence in my daughter's life anymore. We are going to enjoy the rest of our lovely vacation without you, and I want your bags packed by the time we get back. 'Thank you for your post, and thank you for abandoning us and your five year old daughter in Italy.'" Ouch.