Choosing the right name for a child can be difficult, especially when the child’s parents can’t seem to agree on a name. One mom is struggling to agree on a baby name because her husband is a “huge mommy’s boy” and wants to name their daughter after his mother. Meanwhile, the mom has no desire to name her daughter after her mother-in-law, and the arguments she and her husband are having over it have left her in tears.
The mom thinks it’s important that they choose names they both like.
The mom, 29, and her husband, 28, have a simple rule for naming their children: They both have to love the names they select. Now that the mom is pregnant with their third child, however, her husband doesn’t seem too keen on sticking to this rule. He wants to name their third child after his mother, the mom explained in a Reddit post.
The mom described her mother-in-law as “great,” but she doesn’t like her first or middle name and doesn’t want to name her daughter after her.
Her husband won’t let up on it, though.
After the mom vetoed the name, her husband just started advocating for it even more. This bothered the woman because it made her feel like her husband was prioritizing his mom over his wife.
“He really started pushing it to the point that it made me start feeling resentment towards his mom because it made me feel like he cared more about honoring and respecting/loving his mom than he did his own wife,” she wrote on Reddit.
The whole situation has left the woman feeling “jealous” of her MIL, especially because “he never once suggested using (his wife’s) name or middle name.”
Attempts to reach a compromise have failed.
The woman’s husband suggested using his mom’s name as a middle name for their daughter. The woman doesn’t like the idea, however, because of “boundary issues” she’s had with her MIL. She’s concerned that her MIL “will refer to the baby as ‘her baby’ or only call the baby by her middle name since it’s her name.”
Still trying to make it work, the mom offered another solution: “Do 2 middle names, my mom and his mom’s name to honor both grandmas.” Her husband wasn’t a fan of this idea and thinks she’s “being ridiculous and unfair.”
These disagreements over the name for their third child have sparked arguments and made the mom cry. Her husband accused her of “manipulating the situation” in an attempt to get him to choose a different name and told her she was “ridiculous for feeling jealous.”
In spite of the conflicts, the woman really respects her husband.
The only issues in their marriage have been related to in-laws. In particular, her husband’s relationship with his mom has caused problems in the past. Still, the woman has considered giving in and naming her third child after her MIL just because she respects her husband “SO much.”
“I want to just say fine and cave to make him happy but I really truly fear that it will cause issues in our marriage and with my relationship with my MIL down the road and that’s just not worth it to me,” she wrote. “I don’t understand why we can’t just pick names that we BOTH love and want.”
Others weighed in on the issue.
Many Redditors sided with the mom and told her she’s definitely not being unreasonable. One person said the husband is being “selfish” because the couple already had an established rule for baby names yet he “seems to think that if he just keeps badgering (his wife), he’ll get his way.”
Another person called the husband entitled for wanting to name “their baby after his mother when his wife is carrying/giving birth/doing all the work.”
Besides, a third Redditor speculated that the children all probably have the husband’s last name. “The babies all have his last name? Is that not enough honoring of his family?” the person commented.
Others pointed out that the conflict isn’t over something trivial, and resentment might grow if the woman agrees to a name she doesn’t like. “Names are important,” one Redditor reminded her. “You need something you are both comfortable with.”
