Those first few moments after you learn you’re pregnant are so, so special. But one woman on Reddit is worried that she totally botched her whole pregnancy announcement after she told all of her girlfriends she was pregnant before she told her husband. To be fair, it was sort of an accident, but her husband is still livid he wasn’t the first person to know.
The expecting mom and her husband have been trying for a baby for about two years.
They even went to a doctor, who told them that the wife's “eggs were of low quality.”
“We’ve been considering IVF but it’s very expensive of course,” she explained in a post on the Am I the A–hole forum on Reddit. “This has been really hard on us but we've been trying to make the best of it.”
She hadn’t taken a pregnancy test in 3 months when she was invited to hang out with a group of close friends.
They were at her best friend’s house and the woman happened to mention to them that she was feeling nauseous and tired, so her BFF pulled her aside and asked if she was possibly pregnant.
“I said probably not but I admitted I hadn’t taken a pregnancy test in a while,” she recalled. “She insisted I take a pregnancy test since people were drinking at our gathering and although I didn’t really want to she had a bunch of extra tests at her place so I took one.”
Surprisingly, it was positive.
The woman was thrilled. It was her first positive pregnancy test ever.
“I took another one right away that showed how many weeks along you were and it said I was over 3 weeks pregnant,” she added.
The woman was in shock and started crying.
“All my closest friends were at her house and there was no way I could keep silent so I ended up telling everyone at the gathering,” she recalled.
They were all so happy for her and spent the rest of the night excitedly chatting about her pregnancy.
“I didn’t call my husband right away because I wanted to tell him to his face and he was on a short business trip so he wouldn’t be back until the next day. However, I did tell him that I have a surprise for him when he get home,” she wrote.
As soon as he got home, she spilled the big news.
He was “ecstatic” and they celebrated for about 10 minutes before things took a turn. Her husband asked her who else knew about her pregnancy “and I told him all the girls who I was with knew and he became angry.”
“He said it was weird that 12 people who I’m not related to knew before he did and I should have told him first and then was angry I waited a day to tell him,” she continued.
The woman was “put off” by how angry her husband was. This should have been a happy moment!
Of course she wanted to tell him first, but things didn’t happen that way. But her husband shot back that he wished she hadn’t said anything to her girlfriends and only told him instead.
“I find this a bit ridiculous,” she wrote. “He then got angry because I wouldn’t apologize but I honestly don’t think I did anything wrong. He thinks this is an example of how I put my friends over him."
She wanted to know if she was being an a–hole.
The comment section seemed to be spilt — many people agreed that she hadn’t done anything wrong.
"[No A–holes Here]," one person commented. "It’s understandable he’s a bit upset. Also, congrats on your baby!"
Another person agreed. "If it was possible, you could have called him first and mentioned about a 'surprise and being eager to see his reaction in person.' IMHO you could have reasoned that you blurted it out in excitement and more as a spur of the moment. An apology does not hurt either."
A third person put it this way:
“It's not like you went out with the intention of taking a pregnancy test and it's a good thing that your friend encouraged you to take one so you didn't take any unnecessary risks that night. That being said, I get why your husband is upset. I do think you should apologize because regardless of whether or not you think you did anything wrong, your actions hurt your spouse. If you continue to refuse to apologize, then you would tip into a–hole territory.”
But a few people were on her husband’s side.
One commenter said she was being a jerk. "You should’ve called him and you told 12 people before your own husband? Yikes."
Someone else agreed. "He has been trying with you for two years. He is your partner in this and should have been first to know."
"YTA. Apologize sincerely," a third commenter chimed in. "He feels betrayed and has that right to. You should have called him right away! This is a new stage of your life and you need to assure him that he and your baby are your priority."
We've all blurted out the wrong thing in a moment of excitement. Accidents happen. But if the husband is really upset, she should take that into account and make it up to him. If all it would take is a small apology to make her husband feel better, then it's worth doing so this doesn't become a whole thing.
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