Some people are more confident and comfortable in their skin than others. They feel great in a swimsuit or even nothing at all. Others like to be more covered up. And there are some who prefer that other people cover up — at least in front of them. Comfort levels can sometimes clash, even within one household.
One man thinks his wife is a little too free with her attire — or lack therofe — at home. It wasn't a problem before, but they have a daughter now, and he's uncomfortable. He checked in with Reddit's Parenting Forum to see how they felt about his sudden change of heart.
How comfortable is too comfortable?
According to the original poster, his wife's attire has never been an issue, but suddenly, he is concerned.
"My wife has always been very relaxed about what she wears around the house and I'm worried now that our daughter is getting older it may be setting a bad example?" he wrote.
His wife, on the other hand, thinks he is overthinking it, and he admitted that may be the case.
He is an old-fashioned thinker.
OP admitted that his thought pattern may be a bit outdated but wondered if that is so wrong.
"I can see her point, she wants to have a secure environment free from being embarrassed or ashamed and maybe other households are this way too? I can be guilty of being too old fashioned from time to time," he explained.
He wanted Redditors' help on how to proceed.
There are so many things that need to be answered.
First of all, what is this all about? Is he talking naked? Is she just in her underwear? Is she Donald Duck with just a top and undies? And how old is their daughter? People want answers, specifically, what he meant by "relaxed."
"Huh??? What is she doing??? Walking around in drag ? But that's good fun. Naked?" someone wrote.
"I'm still confused on exactly what your wife is or isn't wearing, but if she's wearing a T-shirt & panties then I see no issue," another person commented.
"Tshirt on but nothing else. Or not very often but now and then only panties (breasts exposed)," the OP responded in one comment but did not follow up further.
"Its not mentioned in the post that the child is uncomfortable, and it seems odd that a spouse would be uncomfortable with their partner only wearing a large tshirt? Its absolutely a great way to teach consent and body positivity etc," another person shared.
If his wife is comfortable with it, why does he even care?
If his wife feels good and is happy, he should just let her be. People didn't get why he was making such a big deal out of it. If their daughter was uncomfortable, that's one thing. But if it's just him, he needs to let it be.
One person shared a personal anecdote: "My mom always walked around braless in a large t-shirt. It was her house, she paid the bills and had every right to be comfortable while lounging on her days off. She was always dressed when company came over.
"All of my sisters and I are now well-adjusted adults today," the person continued. "I wear pj's and hoodies around my toddler because it's what I find most comfortable, and I will stop changing around my toddler when either one of us becomes uncomfortable."
"But in all seriousness a woman should dress how she wants in her own home," another person wrote. "This also teaches a wonderful lesson to your daughter about being comfortable in her body, realistic beauty, self-esteem …"
Others ,though, said they had the same experience as children and hated it.
"I have to admit that I got sick of seeing my mothers arse all the time while growing up – and smelling her, if you know what I mean. Not that she was particularly filthy, but you know, sometimes even when it's not that time of the month it can get smelly. I didn't want to see her boobs and her cleavage and bra. I would have preferred that she wear a shirt and at least put on some shorts, even if they were short," one person commented.
"I don't know, but maybe after a certain age, it would be wise to cover up," the person added. "I just didn't like seeing my mom's everything, which you can see through underwear, especially thongs sitting on the couch. I don't want to see your butt crack and the hair in there and all. I don't looking at your cellulite, ma."
"I actually agree with you and think you should be upvoted more," someone else wrote. "My father used to be very loose with his clothing etc, and it was awful growing up. We couldn’t say anything either as he used the excuse he worked all day and needed to be comfortable at home. It also became an issue when we wanted to bring friends around as we got older and didn’t feel safe doing it for fear of embarrassment and shame."
Everyone needs to do what is comfortable for them.
OP, if you don't want to wear less, don't. But people don't want you to change your wife's thoughts on herself or break her confidence.
It is a slippery slope with your daughter as well. Telling your wife to cover up may give your daughter the idea that her body is shameful, which is a no-go. Now, if your daughter is uncomfortable, that is a different story, and the family should all sit down and talk it through.
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