A new mom on TikTok is causing a bit of controversy by sharing the boundaries she’s set for her parents. As the mom of a newborn, she is aware of the number of illnesses adults carry and can pass on to infants. Because of this, she has decided that no one other than she and her husband are allowed to kiss their baby.
Illnesses such as the flu, COVID-19, and RSV can potentially be deadly for an infant. The new mom understands this and is doing everything she can to protect her baby. But her firm boundaries seem to have made a lot of people upset.
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The interaction was brief but important.
New mom Devon Stephen shared a TikTok of the moment where her mother asked if she could kiss her infant daughter on the head. Stephen firmly but calmly shuts the idea down.
“This is some very serious rules,” Stephen warns. “If your face gets closer than it is right now, Iāll have to remove her.”
The clip is only 14 seconds, but it’s clear that this isn’t the first time the boundary has been discussed between Stephen and her mom.
Every parent is entitled to setting boundaries for their children.
“The thing about true boundaries is they arenāt set in place to punish anyone, but they are usually there to protect someone,” the 26-year-old new mom said in an interview with People. She explained that her mother accepted the boundaries she set.
“This is a choice we have made to keep our baby safe, and we told our families about the choice,” she told the magazine. “The best part is that even if they didnāt understand it at first ā they tried to, and they accepted it.”
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People had very mixed feelings about Stephen's video.
Many of the commenters on the video shamed the new mom for her stance, but a few people believe that Stephen is making the right decision for her child.
“I wouldn’t dare have kept my mom from kissing my babies,” one person wrote. “I could NOT imagine saying that to my mom,” someone else added. Those comments got hundreds of replies from people both agreeing and trying to point out the dangers adults often put infants through, especially during cold and flu season.
“Girl why are you getting hate? Youāre right! Itās a gamble not worth taking,” one comment reads. “I have cold sores for life because my parents didnāt set boundaries,” another person shared.
Setting boundaries around kissing babies is a newer trend but a necessary one.
As a new mom, Stephen understands that things have changed a lot since she was young and her parents were the ones making the rules.
“Asking people not to kiss your baby is definitely a new precaution, so I understand the confusion. Itās more common among parents my age,” Stephen admitted to the magazine. “Itās actually a generational difference that we talk and laugh about. But it doesnāt mean anyone who had kids before us did anything wrong. Times change and health science evolves.”
The boundary wasn't even originally her idea.
Stephen told People that she and her husband take their baby’s health “very seriously.” In fact, it was her OB that warned against letting people kiss her little one.
“Illnesses that can have dangerous effects on a new baby ā the common cold, the flu, HSV-1, RSV ā are preventable,” Stephen reminded people. “My OB specifically told me how to prevent them: limit contact for a few weeks, no touching the face or hands, and absolutely no kissing.
“No matter how ācontroversialā some people think it is to tell a grandma she isnāt the exception to the no kissing rule, Iām going to do whatever I can to avoid making my daughter sick,” the new mom stated.
