Women who want to become mothers take many different paths. Sometimes the perfect partner doesn’t come along but the desire to have a child remains. Emily Hausman knew she’d want a baby someday and decided to freeze her eggs in 2020. Then, the COVID-19 pandemic struck, and the world turned upside down. Hausman fell in love with a man who she thought was the one, but ultimately, things didn’t work out.
Instead, she chose to have a baby with a sperm donor. Her first embryo transfer was a success, and she became pregnant with her baby boy, Zeke. It all seemed like a dream come true, but then things took an unexpectedly heartbreaking turn.
Hausman explained in a now-viral TikTok that she was laid off during pregnancy. She decided to move from New York to Salt Lake City to live with her parents. It was a blow, but she took it all in stride while looking forward to becoming a mom. She gave birth in May and has enjoyed every moment with her son. At her six-week postnatal appointment, Hausman told her doctor she felt something strange in her breast, and her doctor recommended a mammogram.
Hausman tells CafeMom she wasn’t concerned.
“I honestly just thought it was something related to stopping breastfeeding,” she says. “Before I got the biopsy, the radiologist literally said I think it’s about 15 things before I think it is malignant, but we should get it checked anyway.”
The tests revealed malignant melanoma in her breast, which shocked her. After seeing an oncologist, Hausman learned the truly devastating news: She has stage 4 metastatic melanoma with additional spots near her lungs and pancreas.
The new mom took to TikTok to share her story following the “put a finger down” trend. It’s amassed more than 3.3 million views.
She explains to CafeMom that her story is personal but one she feels compelled to share.
“This just felt like such a disaster that I had to get it out. It still doesn’t even feel all the way real yet because it’s so outrageous. I feel like I am on an episode of ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ or ‘Punk’d’ or something,” she shares.
@emilyhausman Well, this escalated quickly… link in bio #smbc #singlemom #fyp #cancersucks #putafingerdown ♬ original sound – Emily Hausman
The diagnosis has changed her life dramatically in a very short time.
“But cancer is so much bigger than me, and I know this doesn’t happen every day, so I just went for it. I also realized that this type of cancer and the way it presented doesn’t happen often; in fact, I still don’t know where the primary source of it came from, and I wanted people to know this is much more than just getting a mole cut off,” she says.
Her dear friend, Leia Bell, encouraged Hausman to create a GoFundMe account to help offset her medical expenses. She will lose her insurance on October 1 and just started immunotherapy in early September. If things go as planned, Hausman will have surgery around Thanksgiving. Her big dream is to be home with Zeke for his first Christmas.
She says that although moving back in with her parents is “unglamorous,” she’s so grateful to them and other loved ones for helping her during this journey.
“I couldn’t have gone through all of this or wanted to without their support, and my best friend, Leia,” she tells us.
In sharing her story, Hausman wants other mothers to know how important it is to listen to their bodies and to care for themselves.
“After my c-section, I just felt too worn down to continue breastfeeding, and because I stopped, it saved my life. I was beating myself up so bad for stopping, I felt so much guilt,” she says.
Although she’s only been at it for a few months, Hausman has some sage advice to share with other moms.
“I have limited knowledge of motherhood, but rearing a little (big) baby doesn’t look the same for everyone, and you can’t beat yourself up for doing what is best for you,” she tells us. “You will be the best mom by being the best version of yourself, whatever that looks like.”
